2006 February (|_| Drink Deeply |

While Bohemian at the core of my being, even I lose track of the fact that it’s a state of inner being. Admittedly, it is very often reflected outwardly as well. In fact, anyone truly Bohemian at heart will have experienced some form of degradation. Most of my life has been lived less than comfortably, both literally & monetarily. No surprise that the latter typically causes the former.

Is finally having a nice apartment, not to mention working for a corporation, a betrayal of my true self? Ironically, it’s the means of remaining true to myself. We have to choose our evils of this world. Honestly, selling out would have been Blockbusted, whereas Hollywood provides a job I enjoy within a construct I can respect. For the truth of the matter is that I have the wherewithal to (as Grandma still says ;->) truly “be anything” but, fortunately, not the willingness.

Not struggling from paycheck to paycheck is still the dream yet not one worth just ANY price. I have to actually enjoy what I do *and* have a modicum of freedom to be myself in the process. So, the true Bohemian life is to do just enough within the confines of ‘civilized’ living to enable yourself to go on living a life you grok. Thus the nice apartment, as the previous hits & misses were all part of the journey. A necessary journey en route to finding another piece of the puzzle that is ultimately me being me.

Simplistically, what’s the struggle for if not to improve one’s life bit by bit. Moreover, the inability to conform, by definition, takes no particular form. I do not live a life less than typically successful in order to disconnect from a homogenized, greedy world. Instead, I am unable to be typically successful due to the inability to connect to such homogenized greed. Bottom line, the determination to be oneself is one that actually does come at all costs.

(_)> “To Days Of Inspiration,
Playing Hookey, Making Something
Out Of Nothing, The Need
To Express -
To Communicate,
To Going Against The Grain,
Going Insane,
Going Mad” – Mark in ‘Rent’

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A new year has more than begun, & nearly a year has gone by since this blog’s incarnation, thus the time has come, as the Walrus said, to talk of many things.. If not shoes, ships & sealing wax then perhaps just a random thought or two.

Inasmuch as the walrus’ forum was seaside, the fact that all things have their own ebb & flow seems apropos. Although I am a poet (yes, my feet do show it), the give & take of each aspect of life is inescapable. Not only do each of our actions create, more obviously, reaction but, moreover, ripples. Therein lies balance in the making.

Furthermore, any inaction creates a void. Perhaps that is all that is happening when a friendship starts to wane. Granted, everything to its season &, admittedly, the shorter the life cycle — the shorter the seasons. So, the inaction that inevitably comes with my younger friends as their lives continue growing & evolving cannot help but lessen the friendship.

That very lessening is a direct result of the increase in other areas of their lives which simply means our friendship has served its purpose. Upon loving who they are/were, the true appreciation was for who they yet could/might be so I find myself now — as ever — equally sad & overjoyed.

The tide will always be a cherished wonder & the power of the moon will never cease to amaze me. I only hope my own energy creates naught but good ripples…

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“The…let’s call them ripples… the ripples left behind are sad… but good.”
~ God in “Joan of Arcadia” ~

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