June 2008

Ever have one of those lives? We all have blessings others don’t & curses that differ from each other but also have more in common than meets the eye. A nice example is my fairly newfound friend Charee; I’ve never been business-minded & she has better health than I but we feel a kinship, strongly relating despite our differences. One of the many things we do have in common is an appreciation for Fiona Apple who wisely asserts two states of being in her song, “Extraordinary Machine.”

“I’m good at being uncomfortable so I can’t stop changing all the time.” Always exploring, never settling, my life’s indeed a journey yet that doesn’t keep me from enjoying the various stages. As with any travel plans, delays occur. I could get caught up in the lack of progress being made or simply enjoy the detours. Part of the mystique that is Charee is her openness to life’s oddities despite a more regimented routine. Our choices direct our travel but we’re also simply along for the ride. There are those who can’t reconcile the ever-present yin & yang of all we are & do.

“He’s no good at being uncomfortable so he can’t stop staying exactly the same.” Thus, they shield themselves. The most common shielding comes in the form of preoccupation — be it with goals, busyness, problem finding & solving — the blinders stay firmly in place. If you come across someone that’s not struggling in some way, chances are they’re not delving deep enough to stir up trouble. Then there’s the rest of us.. Our war zones vary & our battles require differing armament but we’re together in the trenches.

Willing to question, provoke & change; we uncover new possibilities, recover old truths & discover ourselves. The key to navigating the inevitable upheaval is not to get discouraged for resolution’s also inevitable. We don’t need to protect ourselves from chaos so much as learn not to take it on as our own. We can take responsibility without shouldering blame by focusing on the wherefores not the “where’d I go wrongs?” Already opting to post weekly til my blog’s on WordPress, I skipped a week. Worse yet, I didn’t use that time as intended.

My health had its say in that pseudo-decision, as did the need/desire to catch up on replying to comments before generating more. Alas, I only finished answering comments on the post I’d been answering the week before but they are loverly & worthy of replacing posting a week ago. Recognizing that I’m currently anemic & suffering — as my mum aptly called it — an energy crisis, I choose to continue on as I’m able; no more, no less. Despite my love of comments & replying to them, the brain fog I’ve endured for the last two weeks existed.

That’s right, it existed, it simply did. That’s all there is to it; I accept it, learn from it (I’m eliminating what processed foods I can.) & move on. Living surprisingly decently right at the poverty line still clarifies the vicious cycle poverty is. The impact on health alone is no small one; not owning a bed or being able to afford decent food keeps stamina at a minimum for anyone. Although I hate to cry “poor me,” such realities create a downward trend with my already ailing health. Since we’ve all had struggles & distractions, let’s dialog, setting our struggles aside & making our distractions worthwhile. Comments? Comments, anyone? I will answer.. eventually..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Transformation contains both change and stability, plurality and unity, movement and constancy. It has the nature of life, namely, to connect organically the polar opposites, the stumbling blocks of logic, and to unite them in an all embracing rhythm.”
~ Lama Govinda ~

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