2008 November (|_| Drink Deeply |

Surely those options scarcely differ yet they do strike me differently. Either I’m fundamentally grateful & thankful for that disposition or I’ve ascertained there’s much to be thankful for & am grateful I have. We may each innately lean one direction or the other; either appreciative at the outset or reminding ourselves why we should be. We’re more likely in constant flux between the two. With RhodesTer, for example, there are times when I gratefully tell my husband how lucky I am to be married to my best friend while, at other times, I’m thankful to have a best friend that knows my husband so well — typically when I’m baffled by him. I practically can’t help but see the best in people & things, no doubt due to being raised to seek the best in myself. I’m also wholly & constantly aware that every silver lining has a cloud (w/props to Eeyore).

Being a realistic optimist — a Pollyanna with a dark side, if you will — I have an abiding trust that there is a greater good. Balance is a necessary state of existence throughout the universe thus all that good gets served on one hellacious platter known as the human condition. All people & things do have that inherent greatness within I can’t help look for but are also incredibly flawed. Were I an optimistic realist, I’d no doubt look right past those flaws & rejoice in whatever goodness I found. The thing is, I want to rejoice in both. I want to accept everything gratefully, just for what it is; no more, no less. Our wholeness comes from our conflict, our brilliance from our struggles, our beauty from our flaws.. How else could the whole be greater than its parts? Oh how it is tho’, oh how it is!

Our focus affects our attitude & our attitude affects everything. Happiness is a choice, love is an action & gratitude is the key to both. Many are striving to achieve happiness, forgetting that — if they can’t be happy now — they’ll never learn to be. Love &, more importantly, unconditional love is doubted by even those who’ve received it. Sadly, that’s a failure of the imagination for they simply cannot imagine their flaws are as loveable as their potential. When we let ourselves believe that worth comes from potential, we end up believing it’s the fulfillment of purpose &/or person that is appreciated. The assumption is that it’s each accomplishment, within or without, that earns appreciation & love. The reality is what we do well doesn’t mean a damn without a backdrop of failure. Who we are at any given time, for better or worse, is part & parcel of who we’re meant to be.

The alcoholic teen I once was made a choice I’m grateful for, to walk the talk & talk her heart which led to laying who she was on the line with a take-it-or-leave-it approach. No half-assed appreciation of me anymore, from myself or others. I’d far, far rather earn disdain as readily as any admiration. Working to redirect my addictive tendencies led to encounters with people who were thankful for their sobriety but had never imbibed!? How the Hell can you appreciate accomplishing something (clean-living) when you’ve never been unable to (self-destructive)?! By all means be grateful for any freedom from addiction you may enjoy but don’t you dare take pride in steering clear when it was not a struggle to do so. We all have something to be proud of so find that. Share that. Allow me to see where you’ve struggled; let me love you for just how human you are & how far you’ve come.

Everything we experience & all that we’re going through deserves the same consideration. The souls & situations present along our journey are lending their energy, their challenges, their very beings to our becoming. Is there anything we could or should be more grateful for? Peruse the clouds surrounding you, from those hosting rainbows to the fog banks, & explore the silver linings. There’s so much to give thanks for & much to learn from even the darkest clouds. If you just can’t find the bright side to any of them & have no reason to trust one will appear, that particular cloud doesn’t belong in your life. Give thanks for that discovery & start working towards its dissipation. Take hold of all the brightness you find & allow yourself to really feel it for that’s happiness. Happiness, love & worth are ever-present; it’s up to us to be open to them & make room for them. As to whether you’re first grateful or thankful, simply allow yourself to be both. This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all I have to be grateful for.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today
and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie ~

PS: Please open this Thanksgiving card before you go.. “Thank YOU!”

Pass the mug; share the love <3

{ 4 comments }

Ay, there’s the rub; We compromise the quality of our lives when we don’t include quality rest. Many find it difficult to stop, to be still — within & without — yet we must. There’s no timetable but if we refuse to step down periodically, our bodies will eventually throw us down. Even with wonky health, I wasn’t slammed squarely into a bed I could scarcely get out of til well into my twenties. By incorporating rest & slowing the fuck down, I no longer have to rest constantly (even if still a lot).

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do
is take a complete rest.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
(downtime’s part & parcel of our uptime)

Just to keep me on track, I do still get thrown back into bed now & again. I landed there with an extended opportunity for downtime these past two weeks in fact & it did my body a necessary good to simply rest. You’ll have noticed my sudden, prolonged absence if you drink from my “Demitasse.” The very day of my last quotationary before yesterday’s, my fever spiked & it took the two weeks for it to completely break. Although the fever lessened each day, other symptoms kept me down for the count. My wee laptop typically enables me to stay online despite the myriad symptoms I experience each day but not when they worsen & collide.

“It is not good for all our wishes to be filled;
through sickness we recognize the value of health;
through evil, the value of good;
through hunger, the value of food;
through exertion, the value of rest.”
~ Dorothy Canfield ~

I’ve long since had to learn to heed my body’s need for downtime & learned to relish the balance incorporating it into my days created. Every time we break from routine, we give our mind a needed break. All it takes to give your mind & body the rest they not only deserve but need is just one chapter of a book or a single TV show Tivo’d. Whatever your poison, it won’t always be possible but take/make time for yourself & strive for that much needed out each day.

No matter how busy you might be, there is time in your day that you can divert to your own purposes. You can prioritize. You can incorporate simple pleasures and rituals of relaxation and regeneration into your regimen. The important thing is to wave relaxation into the fabric of your life. Like eating, breathing or sleeping, it is essential to your well-being.

There are things you can easily do that will bring you to a more centered, settled and healthful state of being. And nothing will affect your life more. The important thing to realize is that you control your life. You make it what you want it to be. By affecting the little things on a daily basis that you have control over, your whole life changes.

…[see ways to slow down and take time for yourself by Karen Adjmi]…

Give yourself the time and attention you deserve. When you do that, you’ll have a room of your own at the center of your life where there is peace and where the face you see in the mirror is beautifully relaxed.

Actual rest is potent stuff, restorative in the smallest doses & cumulative to boot. Never underestimate the benefits nor short-change yourself by not making downtime a priority. One thing I came to terms with this past week — once staying offline was as much a choice as not — was the blessing in disguise a vacation from the onslaught of information can be. This is practically blasphemous for me to assert, especially as I’d have no life to speak of without the internet, but the forced change of focus was a relief.

SlowDownNow.org’s Manifesto:

If you can slow down when all around you are speeding up, then you’re one of us. Be proud that you are one of us and not one of them. For they are fast, and we are slow. There are those that would urge us to speed. We resist!

We shall not flag or fail. We shall slow down in the office, and on the roads. We shall slow down with growing confidence when all those around us are in a shrill state of hyperactivity (signifying nothing). We shall defend our state of calm, whatever the cost may be. We shall slow down in the fields and in the streets, we shall slow down in the hills, we shall never surrender!

Why? Because if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly. Some are born to slowness—others have it thrust upon them. And still others know that lying in bed with a morning cup of tea is the supreme state for mankind.

So, welcome back.. er.. Welcome, anyhow, now that I’m back. I’ve used this recent time of restoration to create yet more healthy habits thus my health should actually improve as a result. What doesn’t kill us can make us stronger if we use it. What also makes us stronger are the simple goals we set for ourselves; we’re remade with each one achieved. As important as it is to live each day to its fullest, we must also live toward a sustainable future & the key is to start that future today, even in the smallest way.