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holidays

Surely those options scarcely differ yet they do strike me differently. Either I’m fundamentally grateful & thankful for that disposition or I’ve ascertained there’s much to be thankful for & am grateful I have. We may each innately lean one direction or the other; either appreciative at the outset or reminding ourselves why we should be. We’re more likely in constant flux between the two. With RhodesTer, for example, there are times when I gratefully tell my husband how lucky I am to be married to my best friend while, at other times, I’m thankful to have a best friend that knows my husband so well — typically when I’m baffled by him. I practically can’t help but see the best in people & things, no doubt due to being raised to seek the best in myself. I’m also wholly & constantly aware that every silver lining has a cloud (w/props to Eeyore).

Being a realistic optimist — a Pollyanna with a dark side, if you will — I have an abiding trust that there is a greater good. Balance is a necessary state of existence throughout the universe thus all that good gets served on one hellacious platter known as the human condition. All people & things do have that inherent greatness within I can’t help look for but are also incredibly flawed. Were I an optimistic realist, I’d no doubt look right past those flaws & rejoice in whatever goodness I found. The thing is, I want to rejoice in both. I want to accept everything gratefully, just for what it is; no more, no less. Our wholeness comes from our conflict, our brilliance from our struggles, our beauty from our flaws.. How else could the whole be greater than its parts? Oh how it is tho’, oh how it is!

Our focus affects our attitude & our attitude affects everything. Happiness is a choice, love is an action & gratitude is the key to both. Many are striving to achieve happiness, forgetting that — if they can’t be happy now — they’ll never learn to be. Love &, more importantly, unconditional love is doubted by even those who’ve received it. Sadly, that’s a failure of the imagination for they simply cannot imagine their flaws are as loveable as their potential. When we let ourselves believe that worth comes from potential, we end up believing it’s the fulfillment of purpose &/or person that is appreciated. The assumption is that it’s each accomplishment, within or without, that earns appreciation & love. The reality is what we do well doesn’t mean a damn without a backdrop of failure. Who we are at any given time, for better or worse, is part & parcel of who we’re meant to be.

The alcoholic teen I once was made a choice I’m grateful for, to walk the talk & talk her heart which led to laying who she was on the line with a take-it-or-leave-it approach. No half-assed appreciation of me anymore, from myself or others. I’d far, far rather earn disdain as readily as any admiration. Working to redirect my addictive tendencies led to encounters with people who were thankful for their sobriety but had never imbibed!? How the Hell can you appreciate accomplishing something (clean-living) when you’ve never been unable to (self-destructive)?! By all means be grateful for any freedom from addiction you may enjoy but don’t you dare take pride in steering clear when it was not a struggle to do so. We all have something to be proud of so find that. Share that. Allow me to see where you’ve struggled; let me love you for just how human you are & how far you’ve come.

Everything we experience & all that we’re going through deserves the same consideration. The souls & situations present along our journey are lending their energy, their challenges, their very beings to our becoming. Is there anything we could or should be more grateful for? Peruse the clouds surrounding you, from those hosting rainbows to the fog banks, & explore the silver linings. There’s so much to give thanks for & much to learn from even the darkest clouds. If you just can’t find the bright side to any of them & have no reason to trust one will appear, that particular cloud doesn’t belong in your life. Give thanks for that discovery & start working towards its dissipation. Take hold of all the brightness you find & allow yourself to really feel it for that’s happiness. Happiness, love & worth are ever-present; it’s up to us to be open to them & make room for them. As to whether you’re first grateful or thankful, simply allow yourself to be both. This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all I have to be grateful for.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today
and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie ~

PS: Please open this Thanksgiving card before you go.. “Thank YOU!”

{ 5 comments }

Allhallows Even

2 comments

in Holi-DAZE

Halloween is an opportunity waiting to be seized; not only to let our imaginations run free but as a meeting of minds. Originally celebrating summer’s end, over time — as holidays are wont to do — it got hijacked became more. Having long been a festival of the dead & now the lead-in to All Saints’ Day & All Souls’ Day, those whose Eve this is are a hallowed bunch. Always a celebration of spirits, as cultures merged, it also became spiritual. It’s marvelous mesh of ancient & religious traditions dates back to the pre-Christian Celtic calendar since its year ended on 31 October, the eve of Samhain (pronounced SOWin); celebrated with religious & harvest rites together. Samhain is also the name for November in the modern Scots Gaelic and Irish languages.

Consistently a time to celebrate harvest & honor the dead, All Hallows’ Eve is also about the protection of the living. For many, this night is a time to face fears, literal as well as figurative, & we’ll never make the most of these mortal lives without that willingness. Many who are more conservative in their beliefs cite religion as cause to ban or boycott Halloween but even Christmas & Easter have each been banned for religious reasons. When we recognize Religion as the human construct with which we grapple huge Truths, its varied forms & extreme fallibility make sense if still maddening saddening. Any exploration of truth should have no — & needs no — boundaries. I do believe in an ultimate Truth but that very belief dictates more possibilities encompassed by such an origin than we can imagine.

Like anything, this holiday’s what you make it thus its traditions should be afforded respect & understood rather than feared. Celebrating strictly from an occult perspective is dangerous, given the forces at play, but intention comes into play too. Trying to eliminate or avoid any occult associations becomes equally dangerous by ignoring very real powers that be & peddling fear. We’re creatures that require balance, living in a world striving to maintain that balance so it’s extremes we ought to be wary of. The more I understand of God, the less I find it possible to fear anything. A foundation of faith needs to foster appreciation for all we humans have wrought not to mention all that exists beyond us.

True to the spirit of this holiday, El Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) represents a mixture of Christian devotion with Pre-Hispanic traditions & beliefs. The result of Catholic Spaniards & the native Aztecs in what has since become Mexico influencing each other, it continues to incorporate other cultures. Every culture in its own time & distinct fashion has come to understand Truth. Whenever we try to segregate those truths or traditions, we lose much of what it truly means to be part of the human race. We are all one & most dynamic when our traditions are kept alive — in a phenomenal, thought-provoking, life- (& death-) honoring mix.

May we enjoy this hallowed eve, appreciate everyone’s pursuit of holiness & proudly honor the dead with respect for each other, our cultures & an openness to other traditions insofar as it affords us all
a Hell of a good time.

(|_|*Happy Hallowe’en*|_|)
“One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.”
~ Emily Dickinson ~

PS: Now that I’ve tricked you into thinking, here are a few treats..

{ 2 comments }

Independence found, freedom fostered

10 comments

in Friday FINDS,Holi-DAZE,QUOTE-ability

What’s your freedom? Last Friday was Independence Day, Canada Day was the Tuesday before & this coming Monday is Bastille Day. That’s a hell of a lot of freedom being celebrated this month. Whether mindful of existing freedoms or aware of any lack thereof, July offers food for thought. It was also this month that a certain crash occurred in Roswell, New Mexico. That same year, 1947, my grandparents married; the two events may or not be related. Both were pivotal moments of freedom though. Roswell exemplifies our freedom, not to mention need, to question government as well as what possibilities the universe holds. Equally existential for me is the marriage of Don & Peg Dorey, made possible by Grandma’s freedom to remarry.

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed;
it must be achieved.”
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

Free to choose again, to be, to explore, to question, to celebrate; freedoms come in all sizes. The Fourth of July is the day the US (then Continental) Congress adopted The Declaration of Independence, wherein we “declare[d] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…” Canada Day, on the other hand, didn’t declare separation from Britain but celebrated the creation of the Dominion (the holiday’s original name) of Canada, making them self-governing. Then there’s Bastille Day which marked the beginning of the French Revolution & the end of absolute monarchy with the storming of a prison — a powerful symbol of liberty.

“Order without liberty and liberty without order
are equally destructive.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

Be it by separation, self-empowerment or force, independence can be established a myriad of ways. Throughout high school, I often asserted mine by running away. I was never gone long for, willing as I was to put my mum through Hell, I wasn’t willing to subject her to the lower circles. Continuing the theme, I moved out at 17. A year later, once my ward had graduated, I moved back due to illness & debt but with new rules, the most important of which was my own entrance. My family was down a Ping-Pong table & up a fiercely independent teen who’d just lost her independence. Or had I? One day, I found a Post-It Momma had put on my desk which was not uncommon but this one had a message I never forgot.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

True independence is a state of mind not of being. There could not have been a more powerful or timely epiphany yet my mum maintained she learned it by watching me. After years of trying to prove my independence, confusing it with self-reliance, it wasn’t until it seemed out of reach — as true with so much — that I started claiming it. Forced to abandon preconceived notions, my freedoms were being established in unexpected & more significant ways. I was communicating, rebuilding relationships, giving back, taking the support I needed, living my own life while considerate of others. Although not the freedom I’d ever envisioned, I was becoming truer to myself everyday. That truth needed to take root within before it could be expressed without.

“We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.”
~ William Faulkner ~

Forays into freedom are certainly part of the process yet freedoms are too easily bartered the more there is at stake. There are so many we, as a society, have yet to establish, making those we try to protect that much more precious. For all the freedoms we are given, lose, have yet to gain or give away, none matter as much as what we establish for ourselves. Thankfully, there will always be those marvelous troublemakers that will take the creation of liberty to the next level & help ensure others share in the experience. Even those who affect the greater good had to effect their own change first. So it is with all of us. As Gandhi said, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. We need to claim the freedoms that feed our souls.

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”
~ Moshe Dayan ~

Find your freedom. If there’s any reason you’re not free to be yourself, you’re not free. If you’re independently wealthy but not independent in thought, you’re not free. If you’re maintaining control without finding contentment, you’re not free. When your life is not your own but your actions are, you’re free. When the world is not your oyster but you’ve found a pearl, you’re free. While the big picture is indeed important, the panes it’s made of are crucial. Look at the individual pieces of your life puzzle &, à la Sesame Street, watch for what doesn’t belong. What small freedom could or have you established for yourself that would or did make a huge difference? I recently admitted I wasn’t willing ready to work, freeing myself to keep getting better well. When life’s difficult but there’s hope, we’re free.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~

{ 10 comments }

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