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Frightened by faith >_<


in C'est MOI

Christianity — no, wait, don’t leave.. honest 😐 — is in a quandary. Ironically and ever so sadly, it’s actually Christians who play into its PR nightmare. Any form of faith as merely religion loses its authenticity amidst cultural expectations. [Alliteration warning] A firmly founded faith is freeing. If people spent more time exploring their beliefs rather than avoiding what they dare not believe, they’d discern the freedom to consider the possibilities. Within a context of surpassing truth, there need be no fear of what may be true.


Each piece of the grand puzzle we uncover expands our own potential of being. Only with a narrow world-, not to mention universe-, view do we settle for being less than we could. Less in so many devastating ways too; less understanding thus less forgiving, less patient thus less present, less tolerant thus less human. I cannot express how maddening it is to have my beliefs cited as justification for so much that utterly contradicts them. In a world of religious insanity, it’s beyond refreshing to find a sane voice; Julie, on her since edited blog, “Observations From the Roof of a Building,” shared:

I’ve been embroiled in a constant struggle to examine things like artistic expression and contrast it against my Christian theism. It’s led me to a whole lot of weird places. I’ve been putting stuff like sex, violence, language, etc. under the microscope for years now, but the past year especially has found me wrestling especially with my inner demons. I think it’s because I’ve learned a lot about myself through pretending to be someone else.

I’m not a perfect person. I’m not even what you would call a well-adjusted person. I’ve done stuff and had thoughts that most of you have never had to wrestle with and I think I’m a bit of a damaged person because of it. I’ve not killed anyone or done anything along those lines, but I’ve seen the inner monsters nonetheless. I was 18 when I became a Christian, which is more than enough years for someone to do a few really asinine things and things like the fact that I got married at the age of 17 are not mere coincidences. You can debate the psychological reasons amongst yourselves, the point of all of this is that I have a very definite dark side I’ve not had to face until now.

So, when I became a Christian, I had a very gross misconception of what a Christian should be. I was taught very early on that there were things one does not read, watch, listen to, think about, like, hate, etc. that were part and parcel of the Christian code of conduct. Some of them have some veracity. Other stuff was just Evangelical tradition and/or false piety run amok. But the person I became is not the person I am. And the veneer finally started to crack a few years ago and has been shattering progressively ever since. I’ve tried to pretend far too many things about myself are true when they’re not.

Concepts of faith versus religion thus Christianity are seldom agreed upon. Definitions aside, the only truth to be found in any of these topics is whatever remains once the various expectations imposed on them have been dismissed. As I said in my reply to Helium’s query “How religious faith causes problems in society,” the very topic answers its own question:

For, while faith has indeed been the excuse for many a problem throughout history, faith itself is not the culprit. As there are all types of faith, it’s understandable that it must be specified which is being asked about. Yet, herein lies the rub for it’s religion rather than faith that can cause societal problems. Religious faith is indeed the most infamous of all faiths since it helps create the fervor that gives religion its ego. Whatever form faith takes, using it as an excuse to further a cause rather than the basis for becoming who we hope to be is what gives rise to problems.

“Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.”
~ Laurens van der Post ~

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