C'est MOI

Twitter asked me to “Share my story” & share I did. Of course, the story they wanted was why I use Twitter. Having recently answered how I use it on two different sites, the basis for my response was already written but I could have answered why with one word. I’d imagine most of the stories submitted will share that underlying reason yet with all the varied approaches found from blog to blog. Even those who seldom add to the ready flow of communication the internet makes possible are taking part in turning their share of monologues into dialogs.

The reason I blog is to communicate with a wide range of people & Twitter is by far the most natural extension of that. With the flexibility to follow only those of my choosing via Google Chat & an ongoing tweet stream awaiting me whenever I decide to take a dip, it fits my life & online habits even as they fluctuate from day to day. I’m always sure to find excellent advice, article/post recommendations, breaking news & — of course — a good balance of entertainment. Thus, my Twitter stream has replaced the “Digg’s Top Stories” feed I’d used for so long.

Through Twitter, I’ve had a blog post listed on ProBlogger, received a compliment from the founder of eBay & been provided an opportunity to communicate with people I’ve been following through other mediums for ages. Given who you choose to follow, it can be a mini-mentoring experience or simply an interesting influx of information (not to mention both ^_^). Like most Web 2.0 innovations, Twitter can be used in whatever way fits each user’s needs & the benefits are only starting to be realized.

|_|) “Communication–the human connection–is the key to personal and career success.” ~ Paul J. Meyer

PS: It doesn’t hurt that both my hunny & my cat are tweeting too. ~_^

While there are those blogging, & therefore being pseudo-social, with no other intention than making money; even they have to communicate something to have a lasting shot at profitability. There are also many entrepreneurs communicating so effectively that money proved the result. The difference between communicating to earn & earning from communicating is vast though. Gary Vaynerchuk puts it best with his encouragement to prioritize legacy over currency. It may seem ironic that I relate to that SO strongly since both appear equally lacking.

Without a clear path to either, goals still have to be made & intentions declared. My goal when it comes to blogging has always been communication which flows from the fact that I seek out opportunities to communicate in everything I do & everywhere I go. The result has been a full spectrum of observations; with all the extreme viewpoints, hard realities & reassuring wonder of the human condition as my guide. This acute awareness of all that we are, all we are capable of — good as well as  bad — & all we can be to each other is ultimately why I blog.

I’ve been expressing myself online hither & thither for nearly 15 years but not til six months ago was I able to start this blog &, not until this one, was I able to maintain one. Determination & circumstance finally somewhat in sync, an ongoing effort became possible which is why it was time to leave free forums behind. Having established that I’m here simply in the hope of creating a dialog & that I’m no expert in anything, merely an observer of everything, leaves the question; “Why am I willing to pay for a presence online amidst continued poverty?”

The potential answers — Is it ego, am I insane or desperate for friends?! — are why my Twitter story prompted me to tell my blog story. Although I impart much of myself in every post, I’ve yet to actually introduce myself. *flashback to 8th-grade cheerleading* “Dorian,” “Yeah,” “Introduce yourself,” “YEAH,” “Introduce Yourself,” “RIGHT ON, my name is DORIAN!” (flashback dedicated to Tony Northrip whose merciless teasing is why I still remember the degrading chant) As this is an introduction, before you draw any conclusions, allow me to point out cheerleading was the only way to be excused from P.E.

Biographically speaking, in six months I turn 40 & I’m proud of my upcoming milestone. Ever young at heart, I can thoroughly enjoy an age with which my life experience is not so incongruous. My life journey thus far has been one of heath problems, money issues & the mandatory family dysfunction. It has, however, been punctuated by irrefutable hope, miraculous comebacks & unconditional love. I met Rhodester 19 years ago & a relationship of some longevity is training ground enough but I’d already run a bit of a gamut before meeting him. He caught up with me during our first few years of marriage.

I had father issues & had been raped [more than once], fortunately unrelated, was an alcoholic with other addictions as well, very related, a runaway that couldn’t stay away, for love of my mum, & a Unitarian who’d come to believe the Trinity while still questioning Religion. “May you live in interesting times” proved both my curse & my wish; I felt trapped in small-town, middle-class mediocrity & found my escape to be ‘thinking interesting thoughts’ instead. My vices have finally mellowed, even I seem to have along the way, yet not only am I still addicted to interesting thoughts but thinking them isn’t enough; they must be shared.

That’s where you come in. I want to listen & consider, as much as offer contemplation. It’s with the understanding that we have an inevitable impact in every moment of every day that I want even the simplest ones to count. From the difference we can make with a smile to the apathy we contribute to with inaction, our ripples are being felt. In seeking to create good ripples, it just makes sense that it’s equally good — if not better — to impact other ripples along the way. Thus, I seem to inexplicably be offering advice & you don’t really know me; why should you care what I have to say & who do I think I am anyway??

That’s just it, I don’t think I’m any different from any of you. I believe that what affects one of us effects us all, whether we’re aware of it or not, & that we all share shortcomings alongside infinite potential. I hated that word growing up as much because I’d heard it too many times as it coming off oxymoronic. It’s typically used in reference to someone else’s expectation, at worst, or a specific goal, at marginal best, but would be far more encouraging were it to be left appropriately open-ended. Never should we limit ourselves, nor should we forget the potential of unending possibilities & unexpected blessings we all offer each other.

LOL cat found via a tweet from Pete Cashmore of Mashable

While I feel I should promptly start pooping rainbows on that note, life experience & my personal dictate to doubt everything have always kept me a realist so my capacity for optimism is merely a balancing force. Part of my innate balance is an avid interest in almost everything which in no way qualifies me to have opinions about all of it but I do anyway. The next balancing force at work is that there’s little I haven’t come across thus I know there are no right or wrong answers. There is only truth & our individual experiences. So, I’m offering up my own varied thoughts in a way that hopefully makes sense & perhaps even helps, with the single goal of prompting more thought. Therefore, pour yourself another hot beverage & add to the brew..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him
to find it in himself.”
~ Galileo Galilei ~

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<– This is Sheryl or, at least, her current MySpace profile pic. Same difference, right? What?! There’s more to each of us than captured online!? I think I’ve captured myself rather well here at Drink Deeply, I’ll have you know! Of course, this hopefully decent but certainly accurate rendering of me becomes a more complete portrait with perusals of my online profiles; MYbebo, MY[old]blog, MYhelium, MYstumbles, MYtube, even MY[MSN]space each give different & additional perspectives but MYspace - despite all its flaws - does offer the next best peek. Thus, in proper appreciation for the site we all hate to love (or is that use?), may the cross-posting begin. Back we go then after our whirlwind tour of MYself.. Giving the excuse, “Tara tagged me, so here it is,” Sheryl has tagged MOI:

Here’s how you play. Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog (*or a bulletin) with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them to be tagged. Don’t forget to leave each one a comment (”You’re It!”) asking them to read your blog/bulletin. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me back, let me know when you’ve posted your blog/bulletin so I can see your answers.

Sheryl, you rule-breaker, why? I must know why you tagged me. *hands on hips* I expect to find out when you comment on this post. *wags finger* You WILL comment on this post; I know where you live your MySpace is. Besides, I’m about to think up write out ten random things - that are supposed to be weird to boot - for YOU.

1. I’ve had a headache for over 20 years. Yes, the same one, constantly.
2. One pain has a root cause. The only time I ever slid home was playing softball indoors.
3. Most of my body is in pain all the time. Different areas flare without rhyme or reason.
4. Electrical shocks, sudden numbness & periodic tremors accompany the ongoing pain.
5. I used to read multiple books at once. Now I read one multiple times to get thru it.
6. I had to relearn swimming year after year. All I actually learned to do is float.
7. While caffeine has little effect, hot coffee relaxes me & can help me sleep.
8. Although I’ll only drink hot coffee black, I sweeten all tea & iced coffee.
9. I hate carrying a purse so oft just put my mobile, lip balm & money in pockets.
10. I desperately need my own computer again; not only do I greatly miss catching up on other blogs - not to mention staying more active on mine - but without this outlet available consistently, I am slowly but surely losing my mind.

Having previously posted “7 Weird or Random Facts,” this was harder than anticipated. However, don’t be discouraged from pondering some of your own weirdness; I would LOVE to see reciprocal lists or links to lists in the comments! Even if you don’t typically express yourself online, what better foray to make?! A safe, encouraging setting where you’re free to be frivolous.. Won’t you play with me? Unless you happen to have a spare laptop about, MacBook preferred ;-), comments are a girl’s [next] best friend. Whatever my health proves to be challenged by, despite my knowledge that it’s not psychosomatic, the effect of the psyche on the soma canNOT be underestimated. Given the intensity of my struggle physically, my mental health is imperative. Whereas physical & mental health typically wax & wane in turn, with one perpetually on the wane, the other absolutely musn’t be stifled.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)

“I know what love feels like. That is one thing I have found. That is one thing that is much clearer because of fibromyalgia. Because once you experience real pain you recognize the vibration, the feeling of being healthy, happy and loved. If I’m not living from my heart, I get sick. I need to do things that feed my soul, like being with people I love, or playing my guitar, or listening to music.” ~ A. J. Langer

PS: With hopes pinned on your comments here & in true cross-posting fashion, I’ll be doing my tagging at MYspace.

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There are any number of words starting with E, N, T & P — not all flattering — that could & may be offered up to describe me. The ones that together describe my personality though are Extraverted, iNtuitive (I’m not the one that cheated, ‘I’ was already taken by ‘Introverted’), Thinking & Perceiving. I first tested my personality with this approach over 20 years ago which either attests that I was a precocious teen or I’m getting a few years under my belt.. or both. Either way, the results were the same so — whatever that says about me — it bodes well for this online test.

The version I took two decades ago was far more in depth in its testing & results but this hugely simplified online counterpart gets kudos. I’ll try not to bore you with too many of the results it does offer for, should you find me enough of a curiosity, you may look for yourself.. On a slightly borg-like note; my “Primary Function” is apparently “Extraverted Intuition” & I do have a funny feeling that I’d like to share with EVERYone but that may just be the current lack of caffeine. *brewing* WHEW; my caffeine — er — blood’s flowing again. **coffee for everyone**

As an ENTP, I’m termed an “Originator” — essentially for original thought — & I admittedly perceive that as quite a compliment; even more so, given some of the company I’m in:

Famous ENTPs
• Alexander the Great — king, military commander
• Alfred Hitchcock — filmmaker (The Birds)
• Lewis Carrol — author (Alice in Wonderland)
• Nikola Tesla — inventor, physicist, engineer
• Sir Walter Raleigh — writer, poet, explorer
• Walt Disney — filmmaker, entrepreneur

Fictional ENTPs
• Dr. Emmett ‘Doc’ Brown — Back to the Future
• Ed — Cowboy Bebop
• Q — James Bond
• Q — Star Trek: The Next Generation

Tesla, in particular, is happy-making in that I could hope for no better company & I’m thrilled he was included at all as he’s too seldom acknowledged. I’m awfully glad as well to have Ed’s company since there are few enough female ENTPs, especially to whom I can relate from the examples the site provided. You may have noticed, however, that I’m almost equally an ENFP so it would seem it’s as an “Advocate” that I’m doing this original thinking. Yes, 3% is marginal; as opposed to how Hillary’s New Hampshire win over Barack was reported. They even won the same number of delegates but I digress.

This balance of two personality types leaves my primary function unchanged; wherein “different possibilities are thought of, realizing that there is always another way of looking at things.” It’s my secondary function that then has to find balance between “knowing what I value & knowing how things work.” While my tertiary functions build on this same balance with a logical approach to feelings, my least dominant function is true of both my thinking & feeling halves (give or take a percentage or three). So, in either mode, I have “the ability to link present experiences to past experiences in search for a connection.”

Perhaps more telling is what I’m not. Between my two interwoven personality types, I have a personality comprised of six of the eight distinct functions of personality. My two seemingly absent functions juxtapose “living ‘in the moment’ & having a sense about the future.” This may well be because I actually do both which I recognize as rare & neither outweighs the other so as to cancel each other out test-wise. In practice though, they are symbiotic. I see life for what it could be while making the most of what it is. That ever-present awareness of what the future may hold frees me to enjoy every moment without concern for what has yet to pass.

What wise quote fits you?

Yes indeed, you see true strength can only be seen when a person has ‘fallen’. Only then can one tell how they will handle it. Just don’t make others fall so you can know who they really are. You, on the other hand, recover very quickly and don’t let people bring you down. You are your own, and you’re fine with that. Emotional issues are something you handle rather nicely.

Some schools of thought set you up to be so focused on the future that you’re harboring regret for the present. I can’t think of anything sadder. I am absolutely an advocate of positive thought & know first-hand how powerful it can be but it shouldn’t distract us from recognizing, simply put, what is. Some things just are & that’s okay; we don’t need to berate ourselves for them or try to be something we’re not, much less bypass an opportunity to accept something real for that’s where ultimate truth is planted. In regard to personality, surely my long-standing ENTPness shows that we do have traits inherently; it’s what we choose to nurture that makes us who we are. Thus, this is me; informed by my head but governed by my heart..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.”
~ Helen Keller ~

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My, my; how two weeks can disappear when your eviction from one dwelling leads to van-dwelling til a new dwelling is miraculously found but none too easily won. Having faced the physical challenges, undergone the testing of our faith & confronted the philosophical conundrums; here we happily & unapologetically are.

If coffee’s my lifeblood, perhaps the internet’s my life force.. It went away soon after I posted “Simplicity isn’t simple” & my time til it did was spent looking for a home. Of course, none of those leads directly led to where we live. Speaking of where we live (what an excellent if simple phrase indeed), my time since has been spent making it a home.

Not to be too punny but that would admittedly be an easier process if we had anything to spend. My favorite part of any move is the opportunity to be rid of yet more baggage. That continued purging is slowing the settling in but will be well worth it in the end. Hopefully, by the time things are sorted, there’ll even be something to put them in or on.

Back to the Simplicity post & its amazing comments to which I was unable to reply — til now: Seldom have I felt quite so understood, much less supported. Truth be told, I hadn’t even realized just how much I needed the catharsis your comments proved to be. I wasn’t looking for sympathy & your empathetic replies show that you know that.

Omyword! wrote (amidst more):

How dare someone imply that I am selfish to not pursue wealth. I’d like to know their ulterior motives (i.e. sell me real estate or something else OR…support their own ideology). I am closer to other human beings right now than I EVER was when I was working 12 hour days to make money so I could live in a fucking secured, gated community condo. Blech.

The once friend offering gems of wisdon’t does indeed sell real estate. His suggestion that the need to budget “doesn’t allow you to do much for those around” is both preposterous & insulting. Who’s to say what little change we have to give someone in need is any less a gift. Do those with more to give actually give more? Go ahead, just try to put a value on my time. That fact that I always have & will give of myself is unchanged by my financial state.

Sheryl wrote:

The richest person in the world could also be the poorest person. Joy comes from living your life to the fullest, following your dreams, being who God intends you to be. Some people are meant to live in a nice home while others are meant to live in a hut but both can be equally happy and successful.

Allowing that it’s a nice hut.. Seriously, though, all the trappings of success cannot overcome any inner lack but success of being can overwhelm external lack. My grandparents allowed me to pick out the charm for a necklace they were buying me when I was significantly younger than now & I chose “Spoiled Rotten.” As contradictory as that may seem to who I claim to be, think again for it was love I was spoiled by.

Rhodester wrote (amidst more):

The place we’re moving into is about 300 square feet.. it has a bed, a table with two chairs and a patio.. and we couldn’t be happier about it. I think that happiness and contentment is worth more than all those material things. Call me selfish.

If only it were the lack of square footage that were the exaggeration here — writers can’t help but be colorful in their descriptions — but it’s the bed. While I admittedly would like an actual bed, at least I don’t have to walk around foam padding. Not only is happiness worth far more than anything material but even the happiest of people are not necessarily content. We count ourselves blessed. Even as we look forward to a few niceties along the way, we are wholly content with the waiting & what we’re waiting with.

René wrote (amidst more):

Funny, I was just wondering today, why you ended up living there, surrounded by so many people like him? I hate Southern California… Please, keep creating, connecting with others and making us all laugh and think. The world needs more people like you — not more Mercedes driving bimbos who think that they’re making the world a better place by disposing of their cash on some bullshit carbon credits or an annual holiday donation to the local homeless shelter.

Being California kids & in love with the ocean, we had little choice in the matter but it is interesting that we’ve ended up in the desert. Now that we’re surrounded by far fewer bimbos & in a place of incredible energy, both creation & connection are ripe for the picking. We have no greater desire than to make others, as well as ourselves, laugh & think so cannot thank you enough for the encouragement!

Lorna wrote (amidst more):

First of all, I love the Walrus/Carpenter lead-in. There’s nothing quite so mind-clearing as a few hours spent with Lewis Carroll. .. I’ll be thinking of you this week as you take step number 793,621 in your journey.

Lewis Carroll always has been a favored source for both perspectives & consequences, not to mention perspectives on consequences. It’s not always clear what’s safe to eat or drink nor what side of the looking glass I’m on yet I’d rather take the journey — even if it’s down the rabbit hole — than stare in the mirror. What do I win on the millionth step? The discovery of what or if will make it worth the taking.

Maureen wrote:

I don’t write as eloquently as both of you, nor necessarily those that have commented before me. I wish you both the best of luck/happiness/good fortune (in whatever form it takes) in your move.

Eloquence, smelloquence; but thank you. The smell of insincere eloquence is quite rank but sincerity takes on an eloquence of its own. Your wishes are the stuff that sustains us. Granted, there’s still a need for some sustenance of nutritional value but, no worries, that’ll come too with a little good fortune. Simply having such a dynamic cheering section, as found herein, makes everything possible.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“When we realize that the best we have to bring to any situation is being just who we are, we relax.”
~ Anne Wilson Schaef ~

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