I married a girl some time ago and there was this whole family that came along with the deal.

My dad had drawn his final breath way back in ‘76 and, although mom and I were pretty close, I hadn’t had any kind of “real family” for years. I’d get up to see her around Christmas time but it was never a big holiday affair.

I’d drop in, bringing the girl with me after 1990, and we’d stay a day or two, usually around the holiday season but never on Christmas day itself.. that just never worked out. We’d bring her something (one year it was a puppy who ended up being with us for the next ten years) and she’d always have a little something for us.

Mom wasn’t about “fuss and bother,” as she called it. She’d do a bit of Christmas shopping and get it all sent off to distant relatives who seldom came to see her. Sometimes they’d send her something. I always brought mine in person.

In 1993, she joined my dad. We inherited the pup, Rufus, and proceeded to miss her terribly. We still do.

But I always had Camp Nelson.

The girl I married had told me about the place early on, back when we were just hanging out with one another. She said she’d been raised there and that there was nothing closer to heaven-on-earth. Well, that sounded like a good place to get married, so that’s what we did. We tied the knot and vowed to be faithful before God and everyone else right there in a tiny, idealistic little chapel that looked like something out of Little House on the Prairie, except there wasn’t a prairie for miles.. only gorgeous, breathtaking mountains.

A few months later, I was invited to spend the first (for me) of what would later become an annual tradition.. the Camp Nelson family Christmas trip.

You’ll find the place nestled among the Sierra-Nevada Mountains of California in the Sequoia National Forest. You drive past the valley town of Porterville and hit the highway to the mountains, enduring an hour on a twisting, winding snake of a road that brings you into the former first world war encampment of Camp Nelson, now home to mainly retirees and mountain folk.

The place looks like Norman Rockwell and John Muir got together and designed a town, after having first asked advice from Thomas Kinkade and Ansel Adams.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to the body and soul.”
~ John Muir ~

I remember that first Christmas visit well. I’d been there a few times by then, but the girl was right.. there was nothing like Christmas in Camp Nelson. A silent hush emanated from the snow, broken by the crunch of our footsteps as we stepped from our car after pulling into the little driveway in front of the cabin. If you stood still for just a few seconds, you could hear the trees breathe.

Granddad Don knew a car had pulled up, so the front door flew open and there he stood, his curiosity satisfied once he saw that it was his “little brown-eyes” and her shiny new husband. He welcomed us in, and in we went.

We stayed for several days and, for that whole time,
the welcome never wore out.

Others arrived and they too were ushered in with open arms. Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends.. they poured into the cabin and rendered it a sanctuary of acceptance and love. It was a place to forget the woes of the year, even though they were lightly discussed before dinner, but as if they had happened to someone else. We didn’t know worry and stress while we were there. There just wasn’t room for it.

Granddad Don would fix Grandma Peg a “sock-it-to-me”.. a bit of holiday cheer in a glass. She’d regale us with tales from the old days, about family and friends who’d long since passed. I didn’t know of those people, but that wasn’t a requisite for finding charm in her stories. Granddad would chime in and, as often happens with those who’ve been together for a lifetime, they’d spend a great deal of time discussing the finer points of things that may or may not have happened and how they happened, if they did happen at all, depending on who was doing the remembering.

Aunt Donna visited for a few of those Christmases. My girl’s maternal aunt, she was a gracious soul who’d busy herself with things to be done.. dinner preparation, dishes, a spot of cleaning, a little gift wrapping and then a nice nature walk among those majestic trees to cap it off. Her sister would occasionally accompany her on a stroll along the crunchy, snowy paths and they’d gab on endlessly as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.

It’s been years now since Donna herself was peacefully laid to rest under those majestic trees, after cancer ferociously claimed her fragile body. Her gracious, loving soul flew on and soared like an eagle. Today, as Christmas comes around once again, she patiently awaits the great reunion.

“Take your time,” she says, “there’s plenty for you all to do yet.”

I haven’t had many holiday visits up there in that mountain heaven, where John Denver, Andy Williams and Bing Crosby sang us Christmas tunes and the wispy smell of the fireplace warmed my spirit. But I’ll cherish what few I was invited to with a grateful heart. The time came when life in the mountains was proving to be too much for such hearty old souls as Don and Peg, particularly with the loss of Donna stinging so badly. Things would never be the same for them without her cheery and loving visits so they moved to the valley below, sadly leaving the glorious cabin to be an empty, lonely sentry of God’s creation. Yet, although the memories are cherished, the place only plays a small part of it, since Christmas is really in the heart.

My girl and I have recently passed through a few tough years. A Camp Nelson Christmas has long been a thing of the past, and there have been Christmases spent solely with each other, wherever we have found ourselves. But this year some angels have seen to it that we get to do it once more, perhaps just for this Christmas or maybe a handful yet to come — only the one who wrote the book of life knows about such things.

He’s the one who called Grandma Peg home earlier this year, so Granddad returned to the lonely cabin to wait out that great reunion in solitude. But he won’t be alone this Christmas, because we and a handful of others will be on hand to stoke the fireplace and the memories, to keep both from waning as the night goes on.

I’ll be offline for a few days. It’s a break from all of this, to find my soul once again and get back in touch with what’s important and meaningful.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and
HAPPY NEW YEAR to our readers!

Cherish 2010 and each other.

Cherish the now.

The Declaration of Independence was adopted on the 4th of July but had yet to be signed & started as a resolution a month earlier. True change is never instantaneous but each choice plants a seed & every action waters it. What may start as unrest or discomfort often leads to declarations of intent yet it’s what we do with those good intentions that make the difference.. or not. In 1776, five men presented a resolution

“declar[ing] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…”

Copies were distributed to members of the Continental Congress as well as throughout the colonies & other territories upon its adoption. A congress made of revolutionaries rallied British colonists one year into an ongoing rebellion against Britain itself. The 13 colonies that participated did become the country we now know as The United States of America.. after seven more years of war.

That dawning of independence did not provide freedom. In declaring ourselves free, we stated our intent. An intention that would’ve been but a footnote in history had we not been willing to put in the work, take the risks & suffer the losses. As a side-note, it amazes me when Americans think France should be beholden to us for our involvement in World War II since French involvement was crucial to The American Revolutionary War & it was the Treaty of Paris that officially recognized the independence of The United States of America in 1783. Surely it was the least we could do, considering we may not have existed as the country we are without them.

“To safeguard democracy the people must have a keen sense of independence, self-respect, and their oneness.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

Allies are an important part of any revolution. Whether revolting against the status quo or your own habits, support from the right people — including yourself — is key. It can be as tricky to find true support from outside sources as it is to truly support ourselves. If we remember our choices plant seeds of possibility, perhaps we can assess our actions & influences more honestly. How are they watering those seeds? As detrimental as a drought of discouragement is, it’s seldom too late to revive a thirsty idea or intention. What we need to be wary of is any form of acid rain as it won’t just stunt the growth of our seeds of change. Acidic input will damage our personal revolution at its roots.

“Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.”
~ Thomas Paine ~

Independence must not only be won but kept. From the moment we decide our circumstances must change, we are fighting for or against that goal. Only we can declare our intention, claim our independence & exercise our freedom. The confines in which we do that declaring, claiming &/or exercising is what varies. In Iran, the declaration of a vote may feel lost but the intention remains & the claims were heard. Amidst Iranian freedoms being challenged, it’s the Iranian people who must choose not to be quieted. We, as allies, must choose to keep listening. When larger freedoms are limited, we learn to recognize & exercise the power of our intrinsic liberties.

Rebellion begins with questioning yet often is the questioning. Conditioning & fear are the twin pillars of the staus quo, there to keep questioning to a minimum. Most North Koreans live in fear of the outside world rather than longing for it as we might imagine. Generation after generation is conditioned to trust a government that’s manipulating them. For all the liberty lost throughout the world, most painfully evident in regions like Darfur, rarely does freedom seem so lacking as in North Korea. Their physical freedoms lie at the end of an Underground Railroad like the one slaves once relied on in The US so freedom of thought becomes everything.

“Injustice in the end produces independence.”
~ Voltaire ~

Our thoughts are the ultimate battleground. Regardless of the freedoms we’re granted or opportunities we’re provided, we’ll offer up little more than passing fancies unless we dare to believe. No-one else can give us the chutzpah to question or the impetus to act. If we’re paying attention, others will demonstrate their faith in us & yet others will lead by example but we must be open to inspiration. In a world where new thoughts are frightening, North Koreans are nonetheless thinking them. Faced with history being revised as it’s being made, Iranians didn’t give up. Despite varying degrees of privilege, we are not truly free if we’re not willing to imagine a world radically different than the one we know.

“Independence … is loyalty to one’s best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.”
~ Mark Twain ~

That willingness, that independence of thought, is what the 4th of July is really about. Few freedoms exist that new thinking didn’t help create. Even our intrinsic liberties require creative thinking to be put to dynamic use. Whatever your country, don’t let your life be dictated by circumstance. Don’t settle for declaring what you want. Revel in that victory & find ways to start implementing what you envision. Whether the changes you imagine are large or small, take the action your current circumstances allow then build on that as things begin to change. Be patient but persistent, avoiding the drought of inaction & the acid rain of self-doubt. Any ideal we have for ourselves or the world, can & should be watered sought.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“True independence is a state of mind, not of being.”
~ Phyllis aka doreyart, as quoted in my post
‘Independence found, freedom fostered’ ~

Silliness should be prized. I’ve had the good fortune of being raised with it as it’s always been one of my family’s most prized pursuits. None of us are class clowns or cut-ups (I had to marry to add that to the mix) but we love to laugh. We laugh readily & easily as well as good & long, especially when a shared bit of silly is the cause. Of course, it’s not so much the silliness as sharing it that we find infectious. Inside jokes are a constant. Our favorites are ones that don’t require insider information to be laughable so that anyone can join in. It also helps that those don’t require long memories since my maternal Grandma was the only one with a good memory.

“The more you laugh, The more you fill with glee
And the more the glee, The more we’re a merrier we!”
~ I Love To Laugh, “Mary Poppins” ~

What memories she had! One she shared time & again in her later years has become especially dear. When she & her siblings were quite small, one of her brothers would say, “YOU sooo siil-ly!” Grandma not only remembered it but quoted it exactly as that little boy during the Great Depression had said it. Such an appropriate remembrance too for she never would talk much about her childhood struggles; just pointing out that everyone does in one way or another. It was the little things she shared, like those long-ago words of her brother or a cherished doll (so rare amidst such poverty & no doubt the reason she collected dolls throughout her life).

“I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy… you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”
~ Katherine Mansfield ~

Optimism is a choice. While it does come more naturally for some than others, when paired with our often opposing natural inclinations, it’s a powerful tool. My mum tends to be pessimistic by nature but so childlike in her faith & hope that optimism is the knife she uses to cut her pessimism down to size. It wasn’t until Grandma’s recent death that I fully realized she was a Realistic Optimist just like me although I’d long understood that our souls saw the world in the same way. She considered us soulmates, teaching me early on that true connections are made through the soul & are never limited to romantic relationships.

Our souls are also how we connect to the world. The eyes are considered windows to that one part of us that is wholly unlike anyone else not solely because they allow a glimpse in but more importantly because it’s how we should be looking out. Memories, while precious, aren’t what make us who we are as is typically believed. My own broken brain & fictional explorations like Joss Whedon’s “Dollhouse” call such common wisdom (as if wisdom is ever common) into question. It’s our souls that define us & our experiences that shape us, regardless of how or if they’re remembered.

“There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.”
~ Arnold Bennett ~

Remembrance is simply a journey, along a path the lucky ones hope is true. Our strongest memories are born of our strongest emotions so the mosaic of our life has amazing & horrible moments equally highlighted. It really was the best of times & the worst of times but we choose which we want to build from. Of the numerous things my Grandma imparted to me, by far the most precious was her ability to focus on the good in myself & others. My mum & her parents each provided unconditional love; Granddad accepts people as they are which he passed on to his daughter who wanted me so badly she couldn’t help but love me while Grandma, as she did with everyone, saw all my flaws but never let them keep her from seeing all my potential.

“There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

Disappointment’s a given, hurt an inevitable risk & betrayal a likely eventuality. It’s not just human frailty that keeps things a far cry from perfect, our own circumstances work against us. To live is to live in interesting times. There are no easy fixes or guarantees; luck runs out, loved ones die, we let ourselves & others down, they reciprocate, no amount of hard work or positive thought leads to a particular outcome, goals can only keep you on track & acting on your dreams may not make a damn bit of difference. Letting any of that stop you is the only form of failure that really exists though.

“There are three things in life which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension so we must do what we can with the third.”
~ Indian Proverb ~

Laughter, recovery, love, perseverance; these are just as much a part of the human condition yet must be chosen. Grandma lived with everything listed previously but refused to get stuck in those aspects of life. In my own life, when I came close to not graduating high school, my mum wisely let her mum take over for a time & the truth Grandma consequently explained was the beginning of the beginning for me. She let me know in no uncertain terms that everything I did affected those who loved me & I had no choice in the matter because they would never stop loving me. It’s not that I thought unconditional love was a free pass but I hadn’t sorted the truth. It’s a responsibility.

“Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope too, can be given to one only by other human beings.”
~ Elie Wiesel ~

If we affect others without even trying, imagine the impact we can have on ourselves. The brilliance of my Grandma-given epiphany was that she specifically did not say I was hurting those I love, forcing me to face that the ripples were out of my control. When we’re struggling — be it financially, physically or psychologically — we tend to think we can limit the collateral damage by withdrawing. The reality is that we can’t make progress from that inward stance & those who are invested in us are already along for the ride. Whatever our progress or lack thereof, if we remember we’re not traveling alone, won’t we want to make the most of the trip?

Take life on, take others for who they really are & take in the good while accepting the bad so that you too can live as my Grandma did. Never one to hold back her opinions or not pursue her own interests, she learned to balance those needs with kindness & patience. She may have never gotten to live at the beach but she loved her community & there were things she didn’t accomplish but she whole-heartedly enjoyed the things she did. Always the better reflection of me, she’s put me back on track one final time & will always light my way. I’m used to having two mothers to call on this important holiday; instead, my mum & I will honor the one we shared by living our lives anew & making it a fun journey for all involved.

“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”
~ Yiddish Proverb ~

We’ll start with a little silliness..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather [or grandmother] was.”
~ Abraham Lincoln [Grandma's hero, beside Granddad] ~

What the Hell’s so special about December? Absolutely nothing. Calendars are changed time & again, traditions are tweaked over the years & holidays are moved about as if in competition. Thus, it’s not the month, the time of year nor even the holidays being celebrated we should give a damn about. It’s the opportunity to do so. Although those opportunities aren’t equally distributed across countries or throughout various job descriptions, the emphasis on the very things we should be giving particular attention to year round is just about universal. Let’s not look a gift horse in its proverbial mouth.

Hi there, horse called gift, what mouth? I just appreciate YOU! These intersecting holidays, traditions & family gatherings that come at the end of every year have brilliant timing. What better way to wrap up one year & prepare for the next?! It’s not about resolutions but rather refining the resolution in which you view your life. Our lives are not only larger pictures made of smaller panes but are each a small pane in the larger picture that is the world. That creates two important responsibilities. Regardless of our personal level of awareness, we are world citizens & yet must heed the needs in our own lives in order to have anything to give.

Give yourself the best gift of all — take stock. By focusing on what’s most important to you, you’ll know what to spend your time on through the holidays & every day as well as what goals to work toward in the new year. It’s the simplest equation in life; by prioritizing the things that matter, we have more time to enjoy & make the most of them. You may not be looking for or even want change but you most likely do want a continuation of what’s good in your life. That’s only possible by supporting those very things (& people). Beyond not taking all we value for granted, neither can we take for granted what is & isn’t possible. Question your status quo.

“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal,
and that every path may lead to peace.”
~ Agnes M. Pharo ~

We’ve got a shitload of celebrating going on & a practically universal focus on all the salient issues.. As I said last year, take advantage:

Be it merry or happy, Chanukah or Advent, Kwanzaa or Boxing Day, Winter Solstice or multiple choice; may the season hold both meaning & moments of joy. Whether you’re recreating traditions or creating new ones, have spent too much or have nothing to spend, what’s clear & what matters is taking the time to reflect. What do you believe, what are you open to &, moreover, who do you love but, most importantly, how are you showing it? From taking time to be kind to yourself to the thoughtfulness you’re showing to those around you, it’s not that December has a corner on the market nor should but with all these holidays intertwining; take advantage, people! [Do read the rest, if you haven't already.]

My own life has changed this past year yet stayed the same in important ways. I lost Taz but gained Pagan, Dave lost the job that made our new home possible but is following his heart, we had to forgive ourselves the debts & accept the miracles but still have no furniture. What we’re always striving for are small but effective changes, sustainable choices & a continued focus on only that which improves our lives. Whatever your take on those ideals, seize this opportunity to set aside anything that’s not adding to your overall happiness. From how we celebrate the holidays themselves to what we plan for our futures, let’s not be afraid of failure nor let ourselves be derailed by it. If anything, it should rerail us.

Failing towards success: Discover what doesn’t work & let it go. If anything goes wrong (or less than right — read “not as planned”) this holiday, laugh it off & look past it to the heart of the matter. The same goes for our day-to-day living. Use your plans as guidelines, your dreams as goals & add in something just for yourself each day. Let those “selfish” moments fuel all the selfless ones while that emerging balance begins to define all you do. Have a Hell of a Happy Merry Christmaskah-Advanzaa-Boxing Solstice &, when the gift horse bucks you, just climb back on.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays–let them overtake me unexpectedly–waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: ‘Why this is Christmas Day!’”
~ Ray Stannard Baker ~

PS: Perhaps the most significant change this Xmas is that it’ll be spent w/family for the first time in many years! RhodesTer & I have always worked jobs that only get busier this time of year; had he not been laid off, he would’ve been working til midnight both Christmas Eve & Christmas..

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”
~ Burton Hillis ~

Surely those options scarcely differ yet they do strike me differently. Either I’m fundamentally grateful & thankful for that disposition or I’ve ascertained there’s much to be thankful for & am grateful I have. We may each innately lean one direction or the other; either appreciative at the outset or reminding ourselves why we should be. We’re more likely in constant flux between the two. With RhodesTer, for example, there are times when I gratefully tell my husband how lucky I am to be married to my best friend while, at other times, I’m thankful to have a best friend that knows my husband so well — typically when I’m baffled by him. I practically can’t help but see the best in people & things, no doubt due to being raised to seek the best in myself. I’m also wholly & constantly aware that every silver lining has a cloud (w/props to Eeyore).

Being a realistic optimist — a Pollyanna with a dark side, if you will — I have an abiding trust that there is a greater good. Balance is a necessary state of existence throughout the universe thus all that good gets served on one hellacious platter known as the human condition. All people & things do have that inherent greatness within I can’t help look for but are also incredibly flawed. Were I an optimistic realist, I’d no doubt look right past those flaws & rejoice in whatever goodness I found. The thing is, I want to rejoice in both. I want to accept everything gratefully, just for what it is; no more, no less. Our wholeness comes from our conflict, our brilliance from our struggles, our beauty from our flaws.. How else could the whole be greater than its parts? Oh how it is tho’, oh how it is!

Our focus affects our attitude & our attitude affects everything. Happiness is a choice, love is an action & gratitude is the key to both. Many are striving to achieve happiness, forgetting that — if they can’t be happy now — they’ll never learn to be. Love &, more importantly, unconditional love is doubted by even those who’ve received it. Sadly, that’s a failure of the imagination for they simply cannot imagine their flaws are as loveable as their potential. When we let ourselves believe that worth comes from potential, we end up believing it’s the fulfillment of purpose &/or person that is appreciated. The assumption is that it’s each accomplishment, within or without, that earns appreciation & love. The reality is what we do well doesn’t mean a damn without a backdrop of failure. Who we are at any given time, for better or worse, is part & parcel of who we’re meant to be.

The alcoholic teen I once was made a choice I’m grateful for, to walk the talk & talk her heart which led to laying who she was on the line with a take-it-or-leave-it approach. No half-assed appreciation of me anymore, from myself or others. I’d far, far rather earn disdain as readily as any admiration. Working to redirect my addictive tendencies led to encounters with people who were thankful for their sobriety but had never imbibed!? How the Hell can you appreciate accomplishing something (clean-living) when you’ve never been unable to (self-destructive)?! By all means be grateful for any freedom from addiction you may enjoy but don’t you dare take pride in steering clear when it was not a struggle to do so. We all have something to be proud of so find that. Share that. Allow me to see where you’ve struggled; let me love you for just how human you are & how far you’ve come.

Everything we experience & all that we’re going through deserves the same consideration. The souls & situations present along our journey are lending their energy, their challenges, their very beings to our becoming. Is there anything we could or should be more grateful for? Peruse the clouds surrounding you, from those hosting rainbows to the fog banks, & explore the silver linings. There’s so much to give thanks for & much to learn from even the darkest clouds. If you just can’t find the bright side to any of them & have no reason to trust one will appear, that particular cloud doesn’t belong in your life. Give thanks for that discovery & start working towards its dissipation. Take hold of all the brightness you find & allow yourself to really feel it for that’s happiness. Happiness, love & worth are ever-present; it’s up to us to be open to them & make room for them. As to whether you’re first grateful or thankful, simply allow yourself to be both. This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all I have to be grateful for.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today
and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie ~

PS: Please open this Thanksgiving card before you go.. “Thank YOU!”

Halloween is an opportunity waiting to be seized; not only to let our imaginations run free but as a meeting of minds. Originally celebrating summer’s end, over time — as holidays are wont to do — it got hijacked became more. Having long been a festival of the dead & now the lead-in to All Saints’ Day & All Souls’ Day, those whose Eve this is are a hallowed bunch. Always a celebration of spirits, as cultures merged, it also became spiritual. It’s marvelous mesh of ancient & religious traditions dates back to the pre-Christian Celtic calendar since its year ended on 31 October, the eve of Samhain (pronounced SOWin); celebrated with religious & harvest rites together. Samhain is also the name for November in the modern Scots Gaelic and Irish languages.

Consistently a time to celebrate harvest & honor the dead, All Hallows’ Eve is also about the protection of the living. For many, this night is a time to face fears, literal as well as figurative, & we’ll never make the most of these mortal lives without that willingness. Many who are more conservative in their beliefs cite religion as cause to ban or boycott Halloween but even Christmas & Easter have each been banned for religious reasons. When we recognize Religion as the human construct with which we grapple huge Truths, its varied forms & extreme fallibility make sense if still maddening saddening. Any exploration of truth should have no — & needs no — boundaries. I do believe in an ultimate Truth but that very belief dictates more possibilities encompassed by such an origin than we can imagine.

Like anything, this holiday’s what you make it thus its traditions should be afforded respect & understood rather than feared. Celebrating strictly from an occult perspective is dangerous, given the forces at play, but intention comes into play too. Trying to eliminate or avoid any occult associations becomes equally dangerous by ignoring very real powers that be & peddling fear. We’re creatures that require balance, living in a world striving to maintain that balance so it’s extremes we ought to be wary of. The more I understand of God, the less I find it possible to fear anything. A foundation of faith needs to foster appreciation for all we humans have wrought not to mention all that exists beyond us.

True to the spirit of this holiday, El Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) represents a mixture of Christian devotion with Pre-Hispanic traditions & beliefs. The result of Catholic Spaniards & the native Aztecs in what has since become Mexico influencing each other, it continues to incorporate other cultures. Every culture in its own time & distinct fashion has come to understand Truth. Whenever we try to segregate those truths or traditions, we lose much of what it truly means to be part of the human race. We are all one & most dynamic when our traditions are kept alive — in a phenomenal, thought-provoking, life- (& death-) honoring mix.

May we enjoy this hallowed eve, appreciate everyone’s pursuit of holiness & proudly honor the dead with respect for each other, our cultures & an openness to other traditions insofar as it affords us all
a Hell of a good time.

(|_|*Happy Hallowe’en*|_|)
“One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.”
~ Emily Dickinson ~

PS: Now that I’ve tricked you into thinking, here are a few treats..

1. Blogging Halloween Part I by @BloggersBlog
2. 20+ Ways to Enjoy Halloween Online on @Mashable
3. The 7 Types of Pet Costumes from @CuteOverload

What’s your freedom? Last Friday was Independence Day, Canada Day was the Tuesday before & this coming Monday is Bastille Day. That’s a hell of a lot of freedom being celebrated this month. Whether mindful of existing freedoms or aware of any lack thereof, July offers food for thought. It was also this month that a certain crash occurred in Roswell, New Mexico. That same year, 1947, my grandparents married; the two events may or not be related. Both were pivotal moments of freedom though. Roswell exemplifies our freedom, not to mention need, to question government as well as what possibilities the universe holds. Equally existential for me is the marriage of Don & Peg Dorey, made possible by Grandma’s freedom to remarry.

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed;
it must be achieved.”
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

Free to choose again, to be, to explore, to question, to celebrate; freedoms come in all sizes. The Fourth of July is the day the US (then Continental) Congress adopted The Declaration of Independence, wherein we “declare[d] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…” Canada Day, on the other hand, didn’t declare separation from Britain but celebrated the creation of the Dominion (the holiday’s original name) of Canada, making them self-governing. Then there’s Bastille Day which marked the beginning of the French Revolution & the end of absolute monarchy with the storming of a prison — a powerful symbol of liberty.

“Order without liberty and liberty without order
are equally destructive.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

Be it by separation, self-empowerment or force, independence can be established a myriad of ways. Throughout high school, I often asserted mine by running away. I was never gone long for, willing as I was to put my mum through Hell, I wasn’t willing to subject her to the lower circles. Continuing the theme, I moved out at 17. A year later, once my ward had graduated, I moved back due to illness & debt but with new rules, the most important of which was my own entrance. My family was down a Ping-Pong table & up a fiercely independent teen who’d just lost her independence. Or had I? One day, I found a Post-It Momma had put on my desk which was not uncommon but this one had a message I never forgot.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

True independence is a state of mind not of being. There could not have been a more powerful or timely epiphany yet my mum maintained she learned it by watching me. After years of trying to prove my independence, confusing it with self-reliance, it wasn’t until it seemed out of reach — as true with so much — that I started claiming it. Forced to abandon preconceived notions, my freedoms were being established in unexpected & more significant ways. I was communicating, rebuilding relationships, giving back, taking the support I needed, living my own life while considerate of others. Although not the freedom I’d ever envisioned, I was becoming truer to myself everyday. That truth needed to take root within before it could be expressed without.

“We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.”
~ William Faulkner ~

Forays into freedom are certainly part of the process yet freedoms are too easily bartered the more there is at stake. There are so many we, as a society, have yet to establish, making those we try to protect that much more precious. For all the freedoms we are given, lose, have yet to gain or give away, none matter as much as what we establish for ourselves. Thankfully, there will always be those marvelous troublemakers that will take the creation of liberty to the next level & help ensure others share in the experience. Even those who affect the greater good had to effect their own change first. So it is with all of us. As Gandhi said, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. We need to claim the freedoms that feed our souls.

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”
~ Moshe Dayan ~

Find your freedom. If there’s any reason you’re not free to be yourself, you’re not free. If you’re independently wealthy but not independent in thought, you’re not free. If you’re maintaining control without finding contentment, you’re not free. When your life is not your own but your actions are, you’re free. When the world is not your oyster but you’ve found a pearl, you’re free. While the big picture is indeed important, the panes it’s made of are crucial. Look at the individual pieces of your life puzzle &, à la Sesame Street, watch for what doesn’t belong. What small freedom could or have you established for yourself that would or did make a huge difference? I recently admitted I wasn’t willing ready to work, freeing myself to keep getting better well. When life’s difficult but there’s hope, we’re free.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~

From Pooh Corner to poetry
With courage and coffee
Thru Art for art’s sake
She inspirited me

From Upstart Crow to unity
With trust and tea parties
Thru Truth for my sake
She inscribed her love

From Camp Nelson to crazy
With freedom and fantasy
Thru Faith for our sake
She inspires me still

(|_|*ME MUM*|_|)
“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
~ Washington Irving ~

Happy Earth Day, my fellow Earthlings! Not to leave out aliens living here on Earth, nor to presume the internet doesn’t reach outer space, it’s simply probable that visitors to Earth are nicer to our planet than we home-grown inhabitants.  We do tend to be more considerate in other people’s homes than our own (much to the chagrin of significant others, fur kids &/or living expense sharers). As for those not living on this mostly blue marble, they’re not in a position to do as much damage to the planet itself though they’re hopefully not contributing to our already littered yard!?

Thanx to Gizmodo via Andrew Dobrow

As this is not Space Day, back down to Earth; in all her blue & green glory with a bit of white & brown. While it’s in question how much an issue global warming is, with the white parts encroaching on the blue & green parts turning brown, it certainly seems a case of better safe than sorry. Simply put, the home we all share is deserving of a little [more] care. In our individual homes, many clean up when they know they’re going to have company (not me, mind you but I digress). So, if we rightly consider our dear planet a home we’re all sharing, perhaps that consideration of others’ homes can combine with concern for our visitors’ impressions.

Fully exploring this estate called Earth is sadly not something many get to do which may well be why we don’t typically view it more inclusively. For those of us in the Americas, surely Australasia is our backyard & vice versa. Rainforests are absolutely everyone’s gardens. Asia creates an intriguing East Wing while the Caribbean provides an amazing spa & Europe makes for a brilliant parlour, if only Africa were a safer conservatory of late. Inasmuch as human conflict may be difficult to nip in the bud, the care we take of this planet which in turn cares for us starts far more simply.

Hugged a tree lately? Ever? Only when drunk? Whatever the case, anything we can do to promote the well-being of [possibly] less sentient living things than we & decrease the piles of debris we’ve left lying about our universal home; the better. Perhaps the hope of inspiring some spring cleaning is why Earth Day is in Spring north of the equator. Whether or not we are in the habit of sprucing up our individual homes (my own spring cleaning is more internalized), the world may not be suffering from lack of neglect so much as hurting for a little consideration. Bill Petro wisely reminds us why we should care..

Nevertheless, plants, as you’ll recall, are one of the reasons we came to Earth. Some of the other reasons include:

• Location: it’s right here. Look just below your feet.
• Memorable: it’s shaped like the new AT&T logo
• Spherical: which makes it convenient for those “round the world” trips and has a much more pleasing shape than where we came from. Did you ever wonder why we called the previous generation “squares”?
• Great restaurants: and great atmosphere, unlike, for example the Moon which has great restaurants but no atmosphere.
• Oxygen-Nitrogen atmosphere: so crucial for those of us who breathe, and better than methane in so many ways.
• Gravity: which is set at a convenient one “g” is quite handy for keeping everything in its place.
• Neighbors: generally far enough away that they don’t bother us much, and those who do are generally more intelligent than average, needing to understand things like calculus, tachyons, and three-phase cyclotronic nuclear-fissionable uranium isotope molecular reconstructors for trans-dimensional physics.

I don’t know about you, but I’m planning on spending the rest of my life right here on Earth.

There are various hues of green living & I’m not endeavoring to advocate any particular shade or pigment. Anytime we recycle, conserve or keep from stepping on a fledgling plant; it’s a win. I would absolutely love ideas, especially if you know of convenient ways to recycle when you have no vehicle with which to reach the far too few & far-flung centers. Tis ironic indeed that the greener you live can make it harder to live greener. Along those lines, we apartment dwellers can do little to create new greenery but, for those who have their own bit of earth, Arbor Day is just a few days away. Japan’s upcoming Greenery Day is a time to commune with nature and be appreciative of its abundance. As appreciation is where all consideration begins, I’d say that’s really the goal; you?

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.”
~ Marshall McLuhan ~

It may seem All Fools’ Day is about making fools of others but what it really reveals is that we’re all fools, as its original name suggests, providing you read it inclusively. Only by bearing in mind just how inclusive the human race really is do we remember that we’re all potentially foolish all the time, or at least should be. More accurately, we should — at all times — be willing to seem foolish. If, indeed, we are fools; we can only hope someone cares enough to call us on it but, moreover, that we’re paying attention when they do.

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
~ Mark Twain ~

“However big the fool, there is always a bigger fool to admire him.”
~ Nicholas Boileau-Despréaux ~

Why appear to be something you’re not? Particularly in a world where being real is once again becoming more recognized & rewarded, surely the goal should always be truth to self. Therein lies the foolish irony, it’s only in trying not to be fools that we become them. It’s in caring how we’re being perceived that we lose touch with what we could be perceiving. If, instead, we release our inner fool; we not only challenge, & hopefully surprise, ourselves but those around us.

“Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius-and a lot of courage-to move in the opposite direction.”
~ Albert Einstein ~

“He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in
the direction of wisdom.”
~ James Gibbons ~

An openness to foolishness may be our best protection against giving in to it. Much like it takes an open mind to mature as people, perhaps it takes an open soul to mature as humans. As we tap into our sympathy & even empathy with a ‘there but for the grace of God’ mentality, we’re able to set aside preconceived notions. If, in turn, we embrace each other’s foolishness; we begin to see people’s worth as relative, thus always present, rather than comparative.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”
~ Dale Carnegie ~

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows
himself to be a fool.”
~ William Shakespeare ~

Breaking free of the expectations we have for ourselves is how we begin to make sincere choices. In the process of making choices that matter, not just those that follow a plan, we explore the import of each one. Knowing our own hearts & minds is certainly simpler if each decision isn’t impacted by the all-too-human fear of being made the fool. If, intellectually, we start to consider alternatives that seem foolish at the outset; we may discover paths of purpose rather than just the smart, safe choices.

“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.”
~ Charlie Chaplin ~

“A wise man remembers his friends at all times; a fool, only when he has need of them.”
~ Turkish Proverb ~

Giving equal consideration to so-called foolishness would increase our awareness of our own options & improve our appreciation of others’ choices. It’s no more justifiable to view someone else’s life through the context of your own than to never question what you’re doing with yours. Be the one to question yourself, don’t leave it to others. If, internally, we come to recognize happiness when we see it; we become ever more capable of experiencing it, by understanding it takes on a different form & function for everyone.

“There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.”
~ Sir Francis Bacon ~

“A fool dreams of wealth; a wise man, of happiness.”
~ Turkish Proverb ~



(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.”
~ Cynthia Heimel ~

“We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.”
~ Japanese Proverb ~

PS: With all the pranks that’ve been played this day, it’s my sincere hope you had a chance to revel in the silliness at some point. While I followed many a link & slowed the progress of this very post, Google continues to be my favorite source of foolishness (as well as productivity, talk about win-win). If you’re a Gmail user, you may remember their new paper offer. Last year, Gmail kept the paper electronic but offered a new feature. As desperately as I want an e-flux capacitor, nothing compares to this possibility! Since I’m an avid user of Virgin too, I’m especially excited about this joint effort.

“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one,
that proves you have a sense of humor.”
~ Max Eastman ~

PPS: I’d like to leave you on a more serious note for April is Autism Awareness Month. Autism covers a huge spectrum of differently-functioning brains so there’s much to learn & awareness is absolutely the key to pursuing that knowledge. We must question the status quo & force answers to be found. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have only been collecting data since 2001!?

“If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.”
~ Carl Jung ~

The calendar convergences just keep coming this year.. Easter is observed in the West on the first Sunday following the first full moon as of the Equinox & can fall anywhere from 22 March to 25 April. In the rare years it does land in March, it’s typically not this early. Since Easter then dictates Palm Sunday & Good Friday, it’s been back to back celebrations for over a week now. Starting with Palm Sunday a week ago & St. Patrick’s Day the day after, right through the Equinox with its “equal night” & Good Friday with its full moon the next day into night to Easter itself; this has been a week rich with history & potentially conflicting traditions.

It’s certainly not coincidental that Easter occurs as of Spring since it embodies rebirth in both its proposed history & its overall intent. An ancient word for spring is “eastre” so it’s a partnership that predates its (relatively) modern significance. Many find the timing of the Christian miracle being celebrated today a bit too convenient but it’s more likely that God simply timed it that way. Aside from crosses & empty tomb references, rabbits, eggs & Lilies are equally prevalent today. The many reasons for their mutual appearance are far-reaching in time & meaning. Various histories even help tie unlikely elements together:

An Anglo-Saxon legend tells how the Saxon goddess Eostre found a wounded bird and transformed it into a hare, so that it could survive the Winter. The hare found it could lay eggs, so it decorated these each Spring and left them as offering to the goddess.

There’s a common context linking myriad beliefs through these shared symbols. Whatever their individual connotations have become societally or personally, they connect to renewal throughout history. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, the world is tangibly coming back to life all around us. As we watch the old, dying & seemingly dead made new again, it’s human nature to want to take part. Not as readily designed for redemption, we may have to get creative in the process. Whether applying the tradition of spring cleaning within by seeking to rid our dank corners of the hidden agendas & fears that took refuge in Winter or hoping to start fresh with the hopes & desires that have been awaiting the sun’s nourishment, we need only begin.

The most complicated concern when it comes to self-renewal tends to be how. Seldom do we have to wonder what we’d like for ourselves nor do we typically have any doubt what we’d like to be rid of. We’re usually working on practical goals along these lines, in fact. Then there are those goals that don’t have an obvious course of action as well as intentions that are proving more difficult to honor than expected. It’s the very things without a clearcut approach that may well impact our practical issues, too. In order to move forward, we need to own whatever’s been holding us back. Understanding what has the potential to defeat us or what negativity we’re (hopefully) keeping at bay allows acceptance &, ideally, even the acceptance that we can’t help going through it.

Clearly, the more conscious we can be of thoughts & feelings that could undermine us, the better equipped we are to fight back. However, thought processes tend to be just as inescapable as feelings are unbidden. Rather than fight our own internal workings, leaving us entangled by them, it’s time to embrace them. We can’t work through that which we’re caught up in thus the need to truly own what we’re thinking & feeling. In claiming it as our own, proclaiming our right to go through it & reclaiming the process itself; we begin anew. Some ranting, venting &/or wallowing may will be required along the way but, when we’re done, we really are! Only then can we move on – having once again come to terms with what it is to be human & had our say to boot – either with a clean slate or the know-how to defeat what would otherwise keep defeating us.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“To the dim and bewildered vision of humanity, God’s care is more evident in some instances than in others; and upon such instances men seize, and call them providences. It is well that they can; but it would be gloriously better if they could believe that the whole matter is one grand providence.”
~ George Macdonald ~

Their traditions may be at odds, given the fasting of Palm Sunday & feasting of St. Patrick’s Day, but they’ve shared important themes. Although inspired by freedom of religion, they each led to social change. Whatever your opinion of the man who triumphantly rode into Jerusalem one Passover, history shows that he was not only a rabbi but a rebel. Jesus not only questioned the organized religion of the time but encouraged regular people to take a stand. Whether you agree with His teachings about God, the lessons we can hopefully agree on are that we each matter & all have the ability — as well as the right — to impact our society.

Also met with extreme opposition, St. Patrick affected social reform in his time too by building schools, not just churches. His legacy continued when mistreated Irish refugees to America united in defiance, becoming known as “the green machine.” A hundred years after the first St. Patrick’s Day Parade simply reminded soldiers of home, Irish Americans changed how they were perceived. Another century later, in 1948, President Truman attended New York City’s St. Patrick’s Day parade. Ultimately, the shamrock connects the two holidays best as it symbolizes the Trinity; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit expressible in its three leaves as separate elements of the same entity.

It’s the spirit of the individual that triumphs in both histories. Palm fronds have long symbolized triumph & the shamrock was worn during the 19th century Irish rebellion against England. Jesus, His followers, St. Patrick & those shamrock-wearing Irish rebels were all facing death for their actions yet stuck to their convictions in the long run. Most of us risk far less, whatever our choices may be, so should never hesitate to take what action we can. Each palm frond & shamrock worn make a statement, one of individualism as well as shared pride. Every simple act & honest word lend to the shaping of our society in the process of shaping us.

Grab hold of inspiration where possible & you’ll prove inspirational in turn. By considering other cultures, exploring their traditions & staying open-minded, we effect our own ability to change thus become forces of change. Even if you’re happy with your own life, surely there’s room for improvement & the lives around us deserve our attention too. We don’t need to look for ways to give but need only watch for opportunities to help. Any form of social injustice can be impacted in the simplest ways & all social change is born of individuals working together. Whether we’re creating new traditions or indulging in old ones, may we enhance each other’s lives through our exploration.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“There is an Irish way of paying compliments as though they were irresistible truths which makes what would otherwise be an impertinence delightful.”
~ Katherine Tynan ~

For all its naysayers, St. Valentine’s Day really is simply a celebration of love. Throughout a convoluted but long history, the constant has been valor. Seldom is such courage possible aside from love thus their intertwining makes perfect sense. Their culmination into a holiday too focused on coupling is not quite so logical but shouldn’t detract from the opportunity it offers. Rather than just being an opportunity for couples though, it’s a chance to focus on any & all love in our lives. As with any traditions, we don’t want to be distracted by them. Even the accompanying marketing doesn’t have to get in the way if we’re inspired by what moves us & ignore what doesn’t. Those categories are going to differ for everyone which is how Valentine’s can still come across as personal.

Many a loving person is resentful of a date on the calendar reminding them to be loving. Past the question of any supposed need to be reminded comes the issue of expectations. As if it’s not bad enough to be told when & how to express our love, our loved ones can’t help but end up expecting some form of declaration. Those of us who aren’t reticent to say “I love you” may wonder how any token or action can say more than we already do. Yet that’s precisely it; if love’s not already being expressed, nothing can convey it. It’s when love is already present & has been made clear that tokens, actions & trite rituals have something to symbolize. So, if the world’s on about love, wouldn’t you want those you love to know such goings-on reminded you of them?

Although I missed the day itself with this post, for reasons my previous post explains, I haven’t missed its celebration. Ironically, I don’t have a history of such celebration; neither my hunny nor I are very saccharine but we can be sentimental. Thus, between lacking finances & plain old forgetfulness, we’ve often done no more than raise cappuccinos in a toast to our love. Said toast tends to focus on how thankful we are to have each other thus the willingness to use any excuse to ensure we both remember that & always feel it. However, my thoughts on Valentine’s Day more readily go to other kinds of love. I can’t help but think of my mum since she taught me unconditional love & one of my best friends, Elizabeth, always has my heart on the day itself.

Those are just two examples but perfect ones as I strongly believe in multiple Valentines of every kind. Now that a nuclear family is a rarity & whatever form our family takes usually covers many a mile, do we honestly still proclaim our love across those miles as much as we’d like? We’re more likely to communicate such feelings to those friends who’ve become like family. Whether or not friends & family have significant others, they deserve to know how significant they are to us. I’ll own the fact that I can’t speak directly to the oft-used description, Singles Awareness Day, having been with my hunny for nearly 19 years now & not caring that I was single when I was. Loneliness neither stems from nor is limited to singleness thus that’s a funny but S.A.D. misnomer.

I, too, have been hurt by the overt coupling, not to mention romancing, of this holiday even as half of a loving couple. A little envy lets us know what our desires are & it’s up to us to be open to them. If the odiously loving displays sicken you but still serve to make you aware that you’d enjoy someone by your side who’s sickened too then may the mocking begin. Only by already being ourselves, loving ourselves & actively loving others will we have anything to offer that future repartee. On the other hand, if you’re already exchanging witticisms but are still sickened, create your own displays of affection & style of romance. Finally, if it all appeals to you & you’re anxiously awaiting your turn, focus on all the love that’s already in your life so that you never lose hope.

I mentioned our impending celebration.. My own special Valentine this year was a wee cat with a HUGE presence & our devastating loss of him is but most of the reason we have yet to celebrate. RhodesTer works Thursday evenings & his weekends don’t begin til those dictated by the calendar are ending. I have a sneaking suspicion this ‘weekend’ may find us belatedly participating in the hoopla. Amidst the continued mourning of our little boy, the love shared for him has manifested as expressions of love for each other. The loss of any loved one is bound to leave you more sensitized to the sheer need to love. With Tazzy as our mutual Valentine this year, my hunny & I will be taking the appreciation of every bit of love present in our lives more seriously henceforth.

Taz proved that valor comes in all sizes; it’s that brave determination to love actively that changes lives. Moments &/or holidays that are seemingly insignificant need not be so. As in the case of Valentine’s Day, I’m done being scared off by all the pink & am ready to trade in borrowed sentimentality for personalized sentiment. I’m hoping we can all avail ourselves of the chance to be declarative of the love we’ve each been blessed by. Let’s be brave, face the frightening frills down & triumphantly make someone we love feel more loved in turn. By claiming this outwardly silly holiday for all types of love, perhaps we can finally level its playing field. Toward that goal — of recognizing, appreciating & celebrating all love — may we each find feelings worthy of acting on belatedly, continually or next year.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“True valor lies between cowardice and rashness.”
~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

Thanx for your participation – period - but especially in helping to celebrate new years in the lives of two of my absolutely favorite people. I’m not one who minds telling her age for I feel each year is an accomplishment & every birthday a beginning. Age has never proven an accurate telling of anything other than how long someone’s managed to survive thus far. So, I stubbornly hope that my grandparents being well into their 80s does NOT mean I’m close to losing them & proudly proclaim my own 39 years. Admittedly, it doesn’t hurt that I don’t look 39 & never cease to shock people when I admit that I am; as much for the admittance too, I’m sure, which is half the fun.

The refusal to look our age is a trait, oddly enough, shared by my ENTIRE inner circle. What makes it odd is that we’re not all related although some of us are &, judging by my mum’s parents, none of us will look or act our so-called age for decades more. Taking your age seriously is just as detrimental as taking yourself too seriously & as debilitating as heeding the preconceptions of anything else purely physical. It’s important to extrapolate from the smaller, more readily obvious truths those greater truths that too often get dismissed simply because they’re unexpected. There’s no end to what cannot be told by how someone looks, regardless of what we see.

In order to see beyond our perceptions, we have to watch for what we’re shown. Aside from the apparent access to a fountain of youth, which I presume to be the healthy lust for caffeine we also share, that inner circle of mine is defined by an abiding passion: a driving force to be our true selves. This small subset of the people who know me best are the ones who know me ridiculously well, accept me for exactly who I am & whole-heartedly desire to relate to everyone they meet on that same level. The ability to accept others without hesitation or misconception grows as you come to terms with all that you are & want to be. Real truth is not always pretty & certainly never easy.

While those who are literally my nearest & dearest all share a determination to be whole, it’s Jordan who has redefined the journey for us. Wholeness is found not only in truth to self but of self. He was willing to challenge ALL the suppositions & change EVERYthing he seemingly was. Not a thing was sacred in his process & we who already loved him watched in awe as his essence came into focus. As he radically became a new being, the person within that had long been who held our admiration came to the fore. Even now, upon starting a new year biologically & as the real New Year begins, for today is the Chinese New Year, he’s made his continued evolution the priority.

The lies my body’s telling pale in comparison to the ones he’s had to overcome which is why he inspired the post I wrote for his birthday. Inasmuch as he is an inspiration, the result came nowhere near expressing its impetus. Between it not being my place to divulge too much of someone else’s journey & the simple fact that his bravery is an ongoing encouragement, my effort to write about him evolved in & of itself; into an essay born of what he proves is possible. It’s my hope to share truths along the way but my brother is truth. He has embodied it, becoming a prism off which the myriad lessons we all have to look beyond the mirror to learn can’t help but be reflected.

Such illumination is transcendent, highlighting the changed perspectives that must come before real change can occur. 2008 being a Year of the Rat, a new 12 year cycle of the Chinese Zodiac begins & decisions made during this year are purported to carry long term consequences. This is meant to be a prosperous year, giving the traditional Chinese wishes of prosperity offered at the new year more significance. There’s almost a sense that the promise we’re poised for is reciprocally poised for us. If, like my brother, groundwork has been laid & it’s a foundation of honesty you’re prepared to build on then build unabashedly; taking another cue from him: perseverance.

Neither our mum, Jordan nor I are rats but our younger brother is.. Though Momma’s a rabbit, we older sibs are monkeys & it seems “the monkey who has worked hard will see many rewards in the year of the rat.” My brother has worked tirelessly to change his stars & the stage is set for the person he’s always been but is still becoming to take center. I don’t know what I’ve managed to convey of such a personal journey but Jordan exemplifies that we are our most important cause. External & internal changes not only impact each other but each is incomplete without the other. I encourage us all to seek our specific spotlight for this act in our lives. Perhaps Joel’s rattiness combined with Jordan’s abundant good mojo is an all-encompassing good luck charm.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“To attract good fortune, spend a new coin on an old friend, share an old pleasure with a new friend, and lift up the heart of a true friend by writing his name on the wings of a dragon.”
~ Chinese Proverb ~

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream was ultimately one of compassion for it’s through sympathy that we’re able to recognize each other’s humanity & find common ground. No matter how great or small the issues, nor how different someone may seem, we must remember how alike we are when all is said & done.

“I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

Character is born of personality & forged by experience. Those two forces are different for all of us & the combination even more so yet we ALL face common experiences with similar personality traits. While we individualize them as we grow (both figuratively & literally), they are all but identical at their core.

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”

Amidst the need for food & lodging are the desires for expression & companionship; these are the very pursuits that motivate each & every one of us. Although the results are varied, the reasons are the same. From our most basic inspirations — love, fear, happiness, sadness — to our greater aspirations, like self-fulfillment or altruism, we’re taking the same journey.

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

The paths differ immensely but the people on those pathways are just that; PEOPLE! None of us are intrinsically more or less than another. When someone’s beliefs, speech, actions, culture, looks or — God forbid — existence comes into question, we need to personalize being questioned for who we are. I sincerely hope none of us would stand for it.

As valid as it is to live & let live, may we all work toward empathy & not settle for apathy. Every single one of us is making choices based on the same criteria; it’s just the specific criteria that differs. So, rather than getting caught up in the whats, whys & whences of those for whom no kinship is felt, look past those insignificant differences to the sameness — the humanness.

“Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which
we do not see.”

Even if empathy & altruism do not come easily, remember too that any grudge or hatred born is borne by YOU. It’s when it’s acted upon that others are most clearly affected yet it will not only be a burden to bear but too often is the source of silence. When we struggle to understand someone, that struggle is entirely our own so its positive and negative results belong to us as well.

“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.”

It’s a simple but inescapable truth that freedom for ourselves requires freedom for others. Standing aside when someone else is in jeopardy or simply in need of understanding effectively leaves us standing on line to be next. It’s also true that we learn more about ourselves by learning about others. Moreover, loving who we’d like is inextricably connected to loving who we’d never imagine.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great
a burden to bear.”

Imagine how you’d like to treat those you deeply care about.. To whatever extent we’re able to care for those we thought we never could, we increase our ability to care & how we’re cared for. Regardless of your interests, compassion quota or current ability; it only takes a moment to be considerate &, each time you allow yourself to consider someone else’s perspective, you’ve made the world a better place.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is,
‘What are you doing for others?’”

This year’s theme for the observance of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday is Remember! Celebrate! Act! A Day On…Not A Day Off. Let’s remember then how little it really takes to make a difference as we celebrate our differences & act far more compassionately to each other hence forth!? Do as much or as little as you can, knowing that every effort is added to a collective whole that will see us all to a greater good.

“Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
All quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Resolutions are always in question with the start of each new year. Of course, we should pursue all that’s important to us as we’re able. The date isn’t going to change whether we care enough to follow through. Much less will a change of calendars enable you to take on multiple things at once. It’s the lengthy lists that baffle me most. I can’t help but feel people are setting themselves up for disappointment. Why aim for more than you can accomplish or have cared to til now when an equivalent effort could accomplish one thing with far more certainty?! Quality over quantity arguments aside, what’s wrong with increasing your odds?

It’s not a new calendar year that inspires me. I do assess what one thing I should be doing that I’m not every year but at my birthday instead. It’s as a new year of my life starts that I find myself wondering what I can begin or renew that had hitherto gone by the wayside. It was blogging I picked back up & dusted off on my last birthday. Faced with my annual questioning of how I can yet be truer to myself, my answer had no competition. More often than not, the solution to what we should be doing is found by considering what we could be doing. So, October is now this blog‘s birthday as well.

As a shared journey is typically easier, timing your resolution to coincide with others’ may help though. The New Year’s Resolution may in fact be a case of positive peer pressure. RhodesTer doesn’t make resolutions on the very principle that he’s not willing to be answerable to anyone he hasn’t chosen to be. Everyone’s encouragement & queries as per your progress may have the potential to be helpful but can get tiring. There again, avoid random & especially multiple goals so that you can pursue something that really matters to you &, voila, have brilliantly orchestrated it so you’ll have support.

This working together toward self-improvement is enticing which is why I tend to use the impetus the new calendar creates to make a mutual pact with someone. It has quite often been RhodesTer but is just as likely to be me mum; particularly with her birthday, thus personal resolutions, coming up this month. This year, she & I have committed to getting onto our respective computers more often. “Neither sleep nor pain nor sickness nor gloom of night will stay us from our appointed typing.” Although any combination therein, not to mention a husband or two, likely will.. Yet, less often!

Perhaps resolutions have no appeal for you or you don’t recognize January first as the real start of the new year. It is crazy-making that the calendar has so changed over the ages. Even upon switching to solar from lunar, you’d think months named for their placement — like October, from Oct, meaning eight — could have kept their places. Surely the other two months should’ve been added to the end; February’s length difference would certainly make more sense. As January was named for the two-faced god Janus, in honor of his ability to look forward & back simultaneously, it nonetheless is a rightful time for reflection.

Whatever your approach to this time of retrospection — where did last year go? — or your interest in self-renewal, any new beginning is an opportunity. Besides, what better opportunities could hope to be found than in a year denoted by the symbol for infinity?? Certainly there’s an implication of infinite possibilities.. Our inference that anything is possible has found its place in time. There may be nothing more to currently do or hope for but nothing should keep us from a renewed determination at such a time. Seize change if there’s growth to be had or just improve what’s already been changed.

(|_|*ch33rs*|_|)
“Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.” ~ Cavett Robert

Merry, Happy
Christmas Holidays
with Season’s Greetings!!!

Be it merry or happy, Chanukah or Advent, Kwanzaa or Boxing Day, Winter Solstice or multiple choice; may the season hold both meaning & moments of joy. Whether you’re recreating traditions or creating new ones, have spent too much or have nothing to spend, what’s clear & what matters is taking the time to reflect. What do you believe, what are you open to &, moreover, who do you love but, most importantly, how are you showing it? From taking time to be kind to yourself to the thoughtfulness you’re showing to those around you, it’s not that December has a corner on the market nor should but with all these holidays intertwining; take advantage, people!

No, Christ wasn’t born at this time &, yes, He’s a controversial character to boot. Saint Father Claus & origins are also in question yet, whatever you believe or might consider, both represent concepts we should all hold dear. While PC & PR have dimmed the intended messages, allow this time of year to be what makes you happy & brings your family together. There’s no right or wrong way to go about celebrating whichever holiday or holidays you choose, each of our celebrations are what we make of them & special simply by being ours. My ideal holiday would integrate them all for they each have phenomenal purpose. May all of you have or find something worth commemorating this time of year..

“I will honour Christmas in my heart,
and try to keep it all the year.”
~ Charles Dickens, ‘A Christmas Carol’ ~

Having a home for the holidays this year has allowed our stockings to be hung which I find means a lot; more than the fact they’re likely to remain empty. If only I were exaggerating for impact but we’re barely surviving amidst an overwhelming need to repay the unintentional loan that provided this home. There are no hard feelings tho’ we were told the funds wouldn’t have been made accessible if our friends had it to do again which would’ve worsened our homelessness & jeopardized all we have, especially our kids — er — cats. As harsh a reality as their desire to undo our saving grace is, the harsher reality is that we hijacked our friends’ money.

What has all this to do with Christmas? What’s more Christmasy than a miracle? Whatever the means, we would not otherwise have a home nor would we have anytime soon & a home is by far the best gift we could’ve gotten this holiday. Although the funds are urgently needed by them now, we can’t help but hope that they’ll trust their gift to be granted as well thus providing two miracles for the price of one. While our obscure holiday wish may be finding a benefactor ready to replace that 10% of their adoption fund we ‘borrowed’, all we’re really asking for is their understanding & recognition of the true miracle they unwittingly made possible.

Attribution: Tab, The Calgary Sun

Whatever your circumstances, however you got there, grab hold of what’s working & let go of what’s not then take hold of what’s left. Building on that foundation will not only reveal the shape your holidays should take but will lay the groundwork for the new year to come. After all, it’s the first year of the rest of your life. To all of us: To miracles that happen despite our best efforts & the little joys that take us by surprise but, most of all, to being!

“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round — apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that — as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!”
~ Charles Dickens, ‘A Christmas Carol’ ~

Whether you’ve already celebrated, aren’t celebrating
or are just looking forward to the food:
Happy Thanksgiving!

Ultimately a harvest festival, it’s appreciation for the necessities of life over the niceties that’s always been at the core of Thanksgiving in all its forms. It’s also a symbol of hope; this country’s First Thanksgiving had a cooperative spirit that is slowly but hopefully surely being reawakened.

When fortunate enough to be with my family on this holiday, I ask each of them to share something for which they’re thankful.. As you are my surrogate family, I’m asking the same & can hardly wait to read your comments! It’s quite clear by now that having a home dominates my thanks-giving currently. Having lost mine at the holidays last year, regaining one at the holidays this year has a significance that’s not so much about the holidays themselves but due more to such events being centering by nature. A dear friend with whom we’d lost touch but who had stayed with us for a time, e-mailed me in response to my thoughts on home:

I write to let you know that in the decade since we last spoke you guys stand out uniquely–and I see from all the available on-line materials you have generated, that uniqueness becomes ever more you. I write because specifically The Rhodes’ was the last place I got a sense of the Home I believe you write about–where love manifests–love as wholeness–love as relation with creation…

This touches on the fact that I’m also forming a home here; with you.. So, while I’m abundantly thankful for my wee studio, I’m utterly & ever-thankful for my growing online family. I’m admittedly thankful too that I get an actual Thanksgiving meal today with RhodesTer before he heads to his hotel of employ. Thus, I’ll raise a glass to you as I eat more than I have in a very long time.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“He who thanks but with the lips
Thanks but in part;
The full, the true Thanksgiving
Comes from the heart.”
~ John A. Shedd ~

 Happy Halloween!

Whatever your personal involvement, do enjoy the holiday!? Either simply revel in this brilliant time of year with a hot beverage or take full advantage of the revelry, just try not to end up like this:

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Deep into the darkness peering,
long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal
ever dared to dream before.”
~ Edgar Allan Poe, “The Raven” ~

Easter has gone by,
just as Passover passed over, & Spring is springing. Thus, rebirth is in the air. My own rebirth actually came towards the end of summer but human cycles are not always in sync w/planetary ones. It was the Spring prior that the seeds of my emergence were germinated tho’. Long dormant, they slowly sprang to life amidst questions I tho’t I had answered. Renewed questions led to intriguing challenges et voila. Granted, I had to not only be ready to seek new answers but willing to be changed by them.

Speaking of questions, what form are they taking in your mind? Did I “find God”? “Discover religion”? Become a “Jesus freak“? Yes and no to all 3 & many more. I finally addressed God in a new way for I already knew he existed. I ultimately recognized the point of religion. I discerned a desire to be Christ-like which, by the way, is *all* ‘Christian’ means. Tho’ I am one, I am still not religious, nor am I pious (I swear ;->) &, most importantly, I feel no sense of being better than ANYone. In fact, quite the opposite.

How can we seek to become more in tune w/ourselves, God, others, the Universe or what have you w/out wholly accepting how very imperfect we are? It’s important to not take refuge in our faults, either as excuse or from some twisted sense of pride. Oh, the humanity of it all, literally! We are all alike; wondrous yet infinitely flawed, individual while part of a whole, doomed & destined for greatness. The thing is, it’s just TOO synchronous, even when & where out of kilter for “out of” implies that there is kilter to be had.

My point?! We’re not an accident – there is a far larger picture thus a much greater wisdom. Be it Bradbury’s ‘Butterfly Effect’ or the planets themselves, there is a source. Whatever you believe, or don’t believe for that matter, I do believe in one true God. True being the key word for therein lies absolute Truth of which we have only pieces. As archaic as so simple a creed may seem, it is precisely its simplicity that allows its plausibility. With all things working together for good, despite all our interference via free will, I see everything as part of God’s plan.

You see, I also recognize the myriad other possibilities in our existence & beyond. It is precisely because I understand there to be a source, a beginning that is also an end, a cycle of creation both coming & having gone full circle, that I cannot help but see how truly anything IS possible. For God to be who I have faith He is, there is nothing w/which He can be mutually exclusive. The real beauty of this all is that, while I had an actual epiphanic moment on August 11th of 1986, each of you will grapple w/these truths in your own way. It is utterly not my place to even imagine you should think as I do.

Whatever my belief in a greater, singular Truth, its impact on you is inherently different. While the questions & especially doubts hold the same importance for all of us, just getting us questioning is key. What should be naught but a pursuit of truth, has become so many various forms of Religion that what was born of noble intent is defeating itself. Religion has become exclusive rather than inclusive, a system of judging rather than growing &, worst of all, a means of condemnation rather than salvation.

I do not believe all religions to be aspects of the same principle or even journeys to the same goal. Instead, they are cultural traditions which are simply how we each interface w/our internal journey. They each have beauty & will all serve individual needs. However, what we have come to know as churches, whatever size, shape or sort, are neither Christian or non-Christian. Just as w/any tradition, they can lead or distract. Christianity, aside from ‘Christian churches’ (of which there are both bad & good, as w/anything else man-made), is in fact just a relationship.

I truly hope this did not come off as preachy. It was intended as purely observational for it, as w/each post herein, was simply where my musings led.

(_)> “Every one who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the Universe-a spirit vastly superior to that of man, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble.” – Albert Einstein