From the category archives:

LIFE-tweaking

What the Hell’s so special about December? Absolutely nothing. Calendars are changed time & again, traditions are tweaked over the years & holidays are moved about as if in competition. Thus, it’s not the month, the time of year nor even the holidays being celebrated we should give a damn about. It’s the opportunity to do so. Although those opportunities aren’t equally distributed across countries or throughout various job descriptions, the emphasis on the very things we should be giving particular attention to year round is just about universal. Let’s not look a gift horse in its proverbial mouth.

horse faceHi there, horse called gift, what mouth? I just appreciate YOU! These intersecting holidays, traditions & family gatherings that come at the end of every year have brilliant timing. What better way to wrap up one year & prepare for the next?! It’s not about resolutions but rather refining the resolution in which you view your life. Our lives are not only larger pictures made of smaller panes but are each a small pane in the larger picture that is the world. That creates two important responsibilities. Regardless of our personal level of awareness, we are world citizens & yet must heed the needs in our own lives in order to have anything to give.

Give yourself the best gift of all — take stock. By focusing on what’s most important to you, you’ll know what to spend your time on through the holidays & every day as well as what goals to work toward in the new year. It’s the simplest equation in life; by prioritizing the things that matter, we have more time to enjoy & make the most of them. You may not be looking for or even want change but you most likely do want a continuation of what’s good in your life. That’s only possible by supporting those very things (& people). Beyond not taking all we value for granted, neither can we take for granted what is & isn’t possible. Question your status quo.

Auguri Planetari
“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal,
and that every path may lead to peace.”

~ Agnes M. Pharo ~

We’ve got a shitload of celebrating going on & a practically universal focus on all the salient issues.. As I said last year, take advantage:

Be it merry or happy, Chanukah or Advent, Kwanzaa or Boxing Day, Winter Solstice or multiple choice; may the season hold both meaning & moments of joy. Whether you’re recreating traditions or creating new ones, have spent too much or have nothing to spend, what’s clear & what matters is taking the time to reflect. What do you believe, what are you open to &, moreover, who do you love but, most importantly, how are you showing it? From taking time to be kind to yourself to the thoughtfulness you’re showing to those around you, it’s not that December has a corner on the market nor should but with all these holidays intertwining; take advantage, people! [Do read the rest, if you haven't already.]

My own life has changed this past year yet stayed the same in important ways. I lost Taz but gained Pagan, Dave lost the job that made our new home possible but is following his heart, we had to forgive ourselves the debts & accept the miracles but still have no furniture. :???: What we’re always striving for are small but effective changes, sustainable choices & a continued focus on only that which improves our lives. Whatever your take on those ideals, seize this opportunity to set aside anything that’s not adding to your overall happiness. From how we celebrate the holidays themselves to what we plan for our futures, let’s not be afraid of failure nor let ourselves be derailed by it. If anything, it should rerail us.

Failing towards success: Discover what doesn’t work & let it go. If anything goes wrong (or less than right — read “not as planned”) this holiday, laugh it off & look past it to the heart of the matter. The same goes for our day-to-day living. Use your plans as guidelines, your dreams as goals & add in something just for yourself each day. Let those “selfish” moments fuel all the selfless ones while that emerging balance begins to define all you do. Have a Hell of a Happy Merry Christmaskah-Advanzaa-Boxing Solstice &, when the gift horse bucks you, just climb back on.

Merry Christmas

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays–let them overtake me unexpectedly–waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: ‘Why this is Christmas Day!’”
~ Ray Stannard Baker ~

PS: Perhaps the most significant change this Xmas is that it’ll be spent w/family for the first time in many years! RhodesTer & I have always worked jobs that only get busier this time of year; had he not been laid off, he would’ve been working til midnight both Christmas Eve & Christmas..

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”
~ Burton Hillis ~

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Time ConfusionTime is relative. Time is fleeting. Time is what we make of it. As all of these are true, time must also be changeable yet these are simultaneously true, all the time. This makes time largely a matter of perception, like truth, but those are different discussions. :smile: This relative truth about time is one we’ve all experienced; whatever our current perception of its passing, pass it does & time’s unfortunately finite in that we can’t recreate it. Each moment is unique & should be appreciated.

Living in the moment implies varying goals with various approaches to varied people. :eek: Although the underlying desire is to make the most of every moment, that means something different to each of us & something else again from moment to moment. The most common approach is trying to fit as much as possible into any given time at hand. Being a multi-tasker by nature, I’ve run that race & can get awfully excited at the prospect of accomplishing multiple things at once.

Racing against the clock is neither fun nor helpful, unless you’re actually racing. When our focus becomes time itself, we’re stealing focus from the task or discovery begging for our attention. In order to smell the roses, we must notice them first. It’s not so much about taking the time to stop & smell – that’s certainly nice, however, & I highly recommend it when the mood strikes – as the simple fact we enrich our world each time we look around. Case in point, my cat just interrupted me.

Interruptions are ours to make of them what we will. Mid-accomplishment, it’s natural to get frustrated if interrupted & easy to expend energy trying to keep the distraction from being distracting. Not only do we end up with excess negative energy that way but we can spend more time avoiding something than if we just took a moment to appreciate it. Between paragraphs, Shadow & I played which resulted in us both being happier with maybe a minute of writing lost before letting my foot be her plaything upon continuing.

Tori Deaux of MindTweaks shared a study wherein participants were given a simple, monotonous game to play:

Even though the participants were alert and focused on their task, parts of the brain usually associated with relaxation began to light up.

At the same time, parts of the brain associated with cognitive control and sustained attention began to turn off. So even though they intended to stay alert, their brain was shutting down, forcing them into a less focused state.

So even though the person was paying attention, their brain stopped paying attention.

Breaking up the monotony helps our brains stay alive & aware. Setbacks like losing our train of thought are aggravating but there are new thoughts & different perspectives awaiting our discovery. Instead of tracking how we’re spending our moments, taking the time to enjoy them :grin: will lead to accomplishing what we want rather than trying to tackle too much. Time spent appreciating the found joys in life is never wasted & seeking found moments doesn’t require putting everything else on hold.

Dave Navarro of Rock Your Day offers his 80/20 Rule of Balance as a way to enjoy your life right now:

For example, yesterday, our family had an enormous amount of work to do in terms of cleaning up the house / tackling maintenance projects.  The little ones wanted to go to the park, to go for bike rides, to play Lego for hours … but we didn’t have the time. In the past, I would have said, “there’s too much work to do … if we can get it all done, then we’ll have time to play.”

But yesterday I applied the 80/20 Rule of Balance and did this – every so often throughout the day I’d stop working and spend 15-30 minutes playing with the kids. It was rushed, I didn’t have the time I thought I needed to really “make it count,” but it didn’t matter. The kids were very happy. They didn’t need much – just a little time made a big difference. And I made some badass Lego spaceships.  Really badass.

Pursuing our goals becomes more enjoyable & sustainable when we are also spending time pursuing ourselves. Those pursuits are not exclusive but have an ebb & flow as they feed into each other. We’ll each have a different balance to strike but will universally benefit from allowing ourselves to enjoy the unexpected moments amidst the scheduled ones.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time
finds time on his side.”
~ The Talmud ~

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We all take things for granted. Whether you’re now reassuring yourself you do try to make your appreciation known or mentally launching a list of relationships & blessings, STOP! The jump from considering what’s being taken for granted to wondering whether we’re showing our appreciation is born of the desire to turn intention into action. Ironically, when contemplating what we may be taking for granted, we typically get side-tracked by the very things we’re NOT. We inevitably end up thinking of everything we would never want to take for granted then find ourselves wanting to ensure our appreciation is known. What we are or aren’t expressing is important but it’s not what fundamentally affects how we live our lives.

What we do take for granted can’t be readily called to mind. Between suppositions handed down to us & assumptions we make ourselves, the ‘facts’ that need to be in question are precisely the things we presume true. From passing curiosities we’ve never explored to the greater ‘truths’ we live by, anything we take on as our own should be vetted. Whatever’s worth keeping will hold up to scrutiny. Just as we can be our own beta tester, we must also be our own fact checker. How much of what we believe has [seemingly] always been believed? What was true in another context or ‘right’ in a different society may not be the universal truth it seems. Look behind the cultural trappings to find any kernels of truth that carried it through the years. As excerpted from Paulo Coelho‘s blog:

The fact is, many of the rules we obey nowadays have no real foundation. Nevertheless, if we wish to act differently, we are considered “crazy” or “immature”.

Meanwhile, society continues to create some systems which, in the fullness of time, lose their reason for existence, but continue to impose their rules. An interesting Japanese story illustrates what I mean..

Why question what we believe? Ideas that are truly our own are more defensible & ours to make or break. It also becomes a question of what we can discover along the way. The journey we take to compile our belief system should be an adventure. It’ll seem unnecessarily risky, or even scary, at times but the alternative is living lives dictated by others’ experiences. Depending on your comfort zone & how much you’re willing to push its boundaries, vary the size of presumption you challenge at any given time. Never doubt that it’s just as important to question beverage beliefs as it is to ponder divine dogma. After all, drink right & we’ll be around long enough (not to mention feel well enough) to live right. :razz:

Convinced you’ll never increase your water intake because you just don’t like the taste of it? Explore your options; flavor additives, herbal tea or even popsicles. How about addressing two health improvements with one solution? 100% juice bypasses the additives so it’s better for you but all the unadulterated juice means it’s also strong enough to withstand being diluted thus you can add in juice & drink your water too.

The truth of the matter is that you can only [happily] live in a manner that’s right for you. Accepting that truth is THE reason to question all others. How can we live according to our own compass, be it moral or otherwise, if we’re busy following the dictates of those who went before us. Of course we should learn from any & all experience we can, striving to not have to make all the mistakes ourselves, but we must also personalize the conclusions. What previously accepted truism have you challenged? Are there any forgone conclusions you’ve always been curious about? If we can ask the questions we’ve never thought of or been too afraid to consider, we’ll discover lasting truths. What truths should we be taking on?!

truth, beauty, excitement, significance, persuasion.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
~ Buddha ~

PS: Happy May Day!

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