As a spoonie & collector of quotations, I’ve found so many that inspire me; from the directly health-related like Buddha’s “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly,” to my oft-quoted “If you’re going through hell, keep going,” from Winston Churchill. We spoonies often deal with some pretty Hellish circumstances so we’ve learned (or are still learning ) that, for us, fighting back tends to make things worse. Anyone in their own Hell must make a choice; run away or stay, push forward or go backward, change latitude or attitude, continue alone or return home, change direction or avoid detection, whatever it takes just to get out or doesn’t take to give in. When your options are further limited by health, the way out — the only way to go for me — is through; “keep going.”

WEGO Health prompted my consideration of the quotational that’s inspirational as part of their Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge (#HAWMC). With a writing prompt for each day of April, WEGO’s first challenge was imagining a Health Time Capsule & this next one suggests sharing a quote that inspires me (either positively or negatively) by free-writing about it. I hadn’t really used this writing exercise since being online, despite encouraging other writers in my life to free write, so was pleasantly surprised to end up with over 400 words in just 15 minutes. Here they are — with typos corrected, punctuation & links added along with some words that seemed needed for clarity [which are in square brackets like these |_|)]:

How can one be inspired negatively? It’s obviously being pushed in the other direction [a negative one, since inspiration is typically considered positive |_|)] but isn’t that “discouraged?” When a phrase is discouraging, the only real inspiration happening [personally |_|)] is that I’m inspired to call a quotation’s bluff. How can an inanimate piece of info be bluffing? It’s about the intent & — just like swearing — it’s how something’s said, why & when it’s said as well as how the person quoting (or misquoting ) means it. Since there are so many factors, it’s surprising that so many words thus phrases & eventually oft-cited quotations (as they become more & more common) end up having a crowd-sourced meaning, & said meaning depends on the crowd one spends time with. Many religious people [for example |_|)] see individual swear words as negative while the generation [usually considered ‘Generation Y’ |_|)] just now getting out into the world & standing on their own with all that entails, including far fewer restrictions, use swear words as adjectives. Since a word that evokes a reaction simply by being said immediately adds meaning to any discourse, how can those of us willing to cuss not use them? Here we are, back at meaning again tho’; for example, saying “fuck” vs “fuck off” [with only the latter having a negative connotation regardless of one's take on swearing |_|)] then there’s “no pain, no gain” for a spoonie [as living with chronic pain changes an otherwise encouraging concept |_|)] which leads to well-known favorites like “c’est la vie.” One such phrase I’ve taken to quoting, expressing that something’s already done or can’t be changed, maybe even referencing a difference of opinion — What is this versatile quotation? — It is what it is. Now, before this turns into a “Who’s on first” routine, it really “is what it is.” No, wait, it’s actually “it is what it is” & I came across an article sometime ago that listed [it as one of |_|)] “7 Popular Negative Phrases.” First of all, context people, context. That’s as important to words as ‘location, location, location’ is to real estate. However, parsing the phrase’s most basic meaning shows that it’s saying exactly what anyone should take from it: that something exists & therefore is; or that the state of something has changed (or been made clear) so is now known, thus acknowledged as being. There are also the times when an opinion is expressed &, whatever the reaction or sentiment aside from that opinion, it too “is what it is” & may or may not change but, regardless of the future direction or hope for change, it just is what it currently is — [at least |_|)] for the time-being.

When I read the article declaring those seven popular phrases negative, this was my reaction:

As valid as most of this list is, it not only criticizes “Que Sera, Sera” which always cheers me up but the put-down of the 1st phrase was clearly written by someone without any experience with chronic illness or other disability (I hope they appreciate their luck. ~_^). “It is what it is” is not a reaction but an acceptance &, when you live with issues that cannot be readily changed, acceptance is actually the key to staying positive!

/rant from one #spoonie who admittedly says both a lot ~_~

A fellow spoonie added, “i pretty much agree with the list except for ‘I can’t.’ if ur BODY can’t, then U can’t. #spoonies know this.”

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“No city invites the heart
to come to life as San Francisco does.
Arrival in San Francisco is an experience in living.”
— William Saroyan —
(always bloom where you’re planted yet
strive to take root where you’ll flourish)

(|_|*ch33rs*|_|)
Quotationaries are quotations with commentary;
I pin, plus, tumbl or tweet such quote-ables
& encouragement fairly often. stay caffeinated!

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• Happy 4th of July! May Independence Day bring about new states of mind.. explore it, the possibilities & a #quote or 5; “Independence is a State of Mind” #
• Send this e-card in appreciation of our veterans, service members & their families who protect our independence http://ff.im/-4MsGu #July4th #


“If you can’t do what you want, do what you can.”
-– Lois McMaster Bujold –
(independence comes in degrees & is ours to create)
from my TwitWall, as tweeted below

• Happy Independence Day! http://bit.ly/ScLbF #
• faved "Perfect Summer eve: Fireworks popping & fanning sky, fireflies, sounds of frogs & locusts, the moon high & bright" from @stargardener #

THX @susanreynolds 4RTingME: People don't change w/the times-they change the times. -PKShaw (in challenging ourselves-we challenge the status quo) #

• retweet of @klamach: i would rather die on my feet in peaceful dissidence than live on my knees in oppression #iranelection (via @Killandra) #
• Iranian Women & The Uprising: Culture, Rights & Roundhouse Kicks @bust_magazine http://tinyurl.com/klaugd #iranelection (via @EmpressNorton) #
• This fantastic "Fireworks 2009" slideshow.. http://ff.im/-4Thik ..is by @Karoli who is also fantastic! ^_^ #July4th @paulbritphoto @1Paisley #

watch the very slideshow, tweeted above, right here
• Building a Positive Life – @PeacefulWmn9 http://ff.im/-4Qvld #
• "Love to play in the sun, dance in the rain & walk in the moonlight, yet coming back home is the best!"-@arlenesg's bio (|_|*hear, hear*|_|) #

Uncertainty & expectation are the joys of life. William Congreve (stray from the known path-round corners-discover new possibilities) #quote #

• retweet of @hochmann: new post on bits of buddhism: More Rumi Ruminations: Be your note! Blend with the Divine. http://post.ly/17Ns (<3 Rumi) #
• retwt of @arlenesg: I have a new #twitter sister who luvs #coffee as I do. She's fun. [YAY & THANX (|_|*to my new twitter-coffeesister*|_|)] #

"A lifestyle is what you pay for; a life is what pays you."-Thomas Leonard (tis the little things that build the most rewarding life) #quote #

• coffeesister here / testing #plurk via IM / shall "plurkus" return? (aka bad #haiku 0_0) http://plurk.com/p/17ad73 #
• retweet of @Killandra: Our cause on @Facebook is now over 3000!! Support Blue Ribbon Campaign for #ME/CFS – http://ow.ly/dehk (Just joined!) #
• tis a fuzzy world but all the better for it when that fuzziness comes in the form of @PaganPuppycat http://flic.kr/p/6CDA6q #


this is @PaganPuppycat, as tweeted above

• my @RhodesTer used his few tips to bring me a muffin! having it now w/hot mango #tea as he recuperates from work (aka sleep -_-) *nuts, YUM* #

Dori’s Muffin
by RhodesTer on July 6, 2009

Yesterday, I brought a muffin home for Dori.

She likes it when I do that.

I haven’t been able to do it for a long time, because it was always after an overnight shift at the hotel where I worked in downtown Palm Springs. I was laid-off in December and haven’t been in downtown Palm Springs during the morning since then.

But this weekend they called me back to work a couple of overnight shifts for the 4th of July holiday.

When I got off Sunday morning, I went down to The Coffeebean and got Dori’s muffin. I got one for myself too, and consumed it on the premises with a mocha ice-blended while watching people come in and out.

Then, after finishing mine, I had them put Dori’s muffin into a little brown bag..

CLICK to read the whole story & see a great video!

• as ordered by Thomas @Hochmann – "awesomeness" – check: the balance of yin & yang, peace, love, the moon & stars; ALL awesome in reply to hochmann #
• ATTN: #Twitter – @hochmann's wife (aka Suzy) is awesome! [after all, she puts up w/him.. er, *check* ..for that matter, @RhodesTer too!] in reply to hochmann #

Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. -Sarah Bernhardt (there are no limits when we open our souls) #quote #

• 8-Year-Old With Tourettes Wants Others to Learn Tolerance | theledger.com | The Ledger | Lakeland, FL http://ff.im/-4W4hy #
• A selection of photos of Spain.. http://bit.ly/Ip3Au ..well worth a few minutes of your time. (via @grahunt) [THANX for the new wallpapers!] #


a new addition to my wallpaper collection, as tweeted above

• not sure why, nor am I sure why I think there's a why, but my #brain fog's thick today; actions slow, tho'ts disjointed.. nothing new #fibro #
• as I deal w/multiple issues daily, <3 #Chronic #Pain Warriors: Responding to the Pile-Up of Challenges; http://is.gd/1rBlJ @ Dancing w/ Pain® #

Leonard:You're some piece of work. Jack:We all are, Leonard. I recommend it. L:What? J:Life.-"Mental" (to live's a piece of work) #TV #quote #

• A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin #quote @hochmann here to aMUSE.. case in point & more #Chaplin http://bit.ly/14jepC in reply to hochmann #

"A warrior of light has no regrets, because regrets can kill. He humbles himself and undoes the wrong he has done." – #quote by @PauloCoelho #

• an "Inventory of normality" by @PauloCoelho – http://bit.ly/x8rCB – a few favorites are #s 1, 8, 12a, 23, 27, 39, 42, 44 & 47; PLEASE read!? #
• Buffy vs Edward: Twilight Remixed — [original version] http://ff.im/-4Z4ba #


What Would Buffy Do? Notes on Dusting Edward Cullen

• We are indeed in good company so not alone. We also enjoy small blessings & life pleasures w/new appreciation. (from @stargardener) [BINGO!] #
• Desktop wallpaper | Social Wallpapering http://ff.im/-51ywD #


another new wallpaper addition, from the site tweeted above

• the spiritual healing by the fine arts starts as we recognize ourselves in others. http://ff.im/-51IuG #
• hope all is well.. tis a scary time @ the Rhodes' home; determined to keep our wee apt, trusting we ARE where we belong & working on funding #
• How Giving Changes Everything; http://bit.ly/MW2gw by @jonathanmead @zen_habits (via @FairyBlogMother) "[we're] most fulfilled when serving" #

"My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here." -Jim Henson (empathy & generosity have the greatest impact) #quote #

• THX for the #quote retweet, @uppington making a positive difference is indeed the best we can hope for; a little effort creates huge ripples #
• from @jeanneendo: "FOXY FRIDAY!" Applicable to most any #chronic condition. http://bit.ly/iHhp2 (now to eventually get a #health care pro..) #
• #pain takes over / determination pushing back / détente .. #chronic #haiku >_< !haiku http://ff.im/-545HU #

my blog post agreeing w/ @SueInge-"Be sure to get the sleep you need. Stay rested, stay well"-To rest, perchance to live: http://ub0.cc/3s/W #

• my post "To rest, perchance to live:" has great comments by @Tojosan @TheCharmQuark @JeannetteNL & @prosario_2000 – http://ub0.cc/3s/W – THX #
• from @worldprayr: Pray for those that are experiencing emotional stress due to job loss or other financial issues. (via @marrangee) [THANX!] #

Every moment is a golden 1 for him who has the vision to recognize it as such. -Henry Miller (if not golden, there's a silver lining) #quote #

• I've created my own #quote w/thanx to @quotegarden: "Under every full moon, our hopes & dreams travel its beams." http://tinyurl.com/qg-c001 #
• "Something's Coming (somethin' good)" so unleash the unknown & prepare for the possible; http://bit.ly/ugSXB @Killandra @jeanneendo video 4U in reply to Killandra #
"Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life."
– William Congreve –
(rather than stay on the path you know,
round some corners & discover new possibilities)
from my TwitWall, as tweeted above, click thru for the lyrics

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The Declaration of Independence was adopted on the 4th of July but had yet to be signed & started as a resolution a month earlier. True change is never instantaneous but each choice plants a seed & every action waters it. What may start as unrest or discomfort often leads to declarations of intent yet it’s what we do with those good intentions that make the difference.. or not. In 1776, five men presented a resolution

“declar[ing] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…”

Copies were distributed to members of the Continental Congress as well as throughout the colonies & other territories upon its adoption. A congress made of revolutionaries rallied British colonists one year into an ongoing rebellion against Britain itself. The 13 colonies that participated did become the country we now know as The United States of America.. after seven more years of war.

That dawning of independence did not provide freedom. In declaring ourselves free, we stated our intent. An intention that would’ve been but a footnote in history had we not been willing to put in the work, take the risks & suffer the losses. As a side-note, it amazes me when Americans think France should be beholden to us for our involvement in World War II since French involvement was crucial to The American Revolutionary War & it was the Treaty of Paris that officially recognized the independence of The United States of America in 1783. Surely it was the least we could do, considering we may not have existed as the country we are without them.

“To safeguard democracy the people must have a keen sense of independence, self-respect, and their oneness.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

Allies are an important part of any revolution. Whether revolting against the status quo or your own habits, support from the right people — including yourself — is key. It can be as tricky to find true support from outside sources as it is to truly support ourselves. If we remember our choices plant seeds of possibility, perhaps we can assess our actions & influences more honestly. How are they watering those seeds? As detrimental as a drought of discouragement is, it’s seldom too late to revive a thirsty idea or intention. What we need to be wary of is any form of acid rain as it won’t just stunt the growth of our seeds of change. Acidic input will damage our personal revolution at its roots.

“Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.”
~ Thomas Paine ~

Independence must not only be won but kept. From the moment we decide our circumstances must change, we are fighting for or against that goal. Only we can declare our intention, claim our independence & exercise our freedom. The confines in which we do that declaring, claiming &/or exercising is what varies. In Iran, the declaration of a vote may feel lost but the intention remains & the claims were heard. Amidst Iranian freedoms being challenged, it’s the Iranian people who must choose not to be quieted. We, as allies, must choose to keep listening. When larger freedoms are limited, we learn to recognize & exercise the power of our intrinsic liberties.

Rebellion begins with questioning yet often is the questioning. Conditioning & fear are the twin pillars of the staus quo, there to keep questioning to a minimum. Most North Koreans live in fear of the outside world rather than longing for it as we might imagine. Generation after generation is conditioned to trust a government that’s manipulating them. For all the liberty lost throughout the world, most painfully evident in regions like Darfur, rarely does freedom seem so lacking as in North Korea. Their physical freedoms lie at the end of an Underground Railroad like the one slaves once relied on in The US so freedom of thought becomes everything.

“Injustice in the end produces independence.”
~ Voltaire ~

Our thoughts are the ultimate battleground. Regardless of the freedoms we’re granted or opportunities we’re provided, we’ll offer up little more than passing fancies unless we dare to believe. No-one else can give us the chutzpah to question or the impetus to act. If we’re paying attention, others will demonstrate their faith in us & yet others will lead by example but we must be open to inspiration. In a world where new thoughts are frightening, North Koreans are nonetheless thinking them. Faced with history being revised as it’s being made, Iranians didn’t give up. Despite varying degrees of privilege, we are not truly free if we’re not willing to imagine a world radically different than the one we know.

“Independence … is loyalty to one’s best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.”
~ Mark Twain ~

That willingness, that independence of thought, is what the 4th of July is really about. Few freedoms exist that new thinking didn’t help create. Even our intrinsic liberties require creative thinking to be put to dynamic use. Whatever your country, don’t let your life be dictated by circumstance. Don’t settle for declaring what you want. Revel in that victory & find ways to start implementing what you envision. Whether the changes you imagine are large or small, take the action your current circumstances allow then build on that as things begin to change. Be patient but persistent, avoiding the drought of inaction & the acid rain of self-doubt. Any ideal we have for ourselves or the world, can & should be watered sought.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“True independence is a state of mind, not of being.”
~ Phyllis aka doreyart, as quoted in my post
‘Independence found, freedom fostered’ ~

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• retweet of @hochmann: been thinking about that lately. thinking about the “whats” of my dreams, trying to get past the “why nots” (YAY you!) #


the quotationary Thomas replied to, as tweeted above

• retwt of @Pistachio: #Twitter is; Newspapers in a Blender… Pulped up, turned inside-out & pouring out as liquid streams. (which we create) #
• retweet of @ursulas: OMG! DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS ARE NOW LEGAL IN NEVADA!!! Legislature just finished overriding Governor Gibbons’ veto! YAY! #

from the keys of one of Twitter’s founders, @Ev:

retwt of @evskeys: Even I know love’s not based on the hardware you’re born with. No one can tell you the shape of the key that opens your <3

retwt of @evskeys: The internet’s like the human brain; vast power arising from millions of interconnections yet we use less than 10% of it.

• so glad you retweeted @onlinedesign & @EnLieux aren’t those great? @evskeys -the keys belonging to #Twitter founder @Ev- are pretty smart ~_^ in reply to onlinedesign #
• reading “The George #Tiller I Knew” – http://bit.ly/oi047 – (via @QueenofSpain) on The Daily Kos (@markosm) [short yet important read] #tcot #
• via @blogdiva RT @BiancaLaureano: for the record, “pro-life” isn’t something pro-choice folk argue, we argue anti-choice..there’s a BIG diff #

POTUS #quote “However profound our differences over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence.” #

• I, w/@EmperorNorton, respect those who seek to reduce the incidence of abortion by helping single mothers. That is productive and Christian. #
• from @EmperorNorton-[Social conservatism] is miseducating its followers. It must say that in civil matters, there’s to be no violence. Ever. #


the quotationary that prompted the quote shared below

my friend provided the perfect #quote to complement y.day’s quotationary: “Don’t let your fear grow bigger than your faith.” – Josie Bissett #

• retwt of @Serene_Balance-What about YOU? Do you Dare to Care? http://bit.ly/jvWyI (caring’s incomplete if not active & every action matters) #
• retwt of @QueenRania-Factoid: There are half a billion women around the world that can’t read or write. That’s the same as population of EU! #
• Welcome to June, dear Tweeps.. many a new beginning lined up, incl. our 19th wedding anniversary tomorrow & @RhodesTer‘s 50th b-day the 9th! #

wrt those new beginnings, to #quote my dear @RhodesTer “I don’t want to have a boss anymore. Bosses are overrated.” http://rhodester.net/hey #

• retweet of @HiroBoga-The myth of job security, & a great post on the fine art of self-employment from @havi: Also, hummus. http://is.gd/LHDd #
• retweet of @mlvalentine-Bloggers didn’t kill journalism, journalists who stopped reporting the news and starting spewing rhetoric killed it. #
• so.. @Rhodester‘s been drinking some Bud Light we got stuck with & keeps offering to share!? if I wouldn’t drink it @ 14, why would I @ 40?! #


1 of the “18 Beautiful Rainbows” tweeted below

• retweet of @spreadingjoy: RT @Jason_Pollock: 18 Beautiful Rainbows from Around the World – http://cli.gs/ZBJ9Jy (I love rainbows!) [so do I] #
• Friar John Cor recorded the creation of the 1st known batch of scotch whiskey 1 June 1495-time to get our whiskey drink on then @goingglocal #

THX @BeMeaningful-“Just as u can’t steer an anchored ship u cant create change until u make changes.” Inspiring interview http://bit.ly/yghkr #

Coping with Someday in Constant Pain:
Dorian (aka coffeesister) Interview
by Alex Fayle on 18 May 2009

Who: Dorian is coffee for the soul; brewing up help, health & happiness from a simple, stimulating & sustainable life while offering life lessons, potential perspectives & empathetic encouragement to all takers for that’s why we’re here: we’ve all been lent to each other.

Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals:
I’ve had chronic pain, in one form or another, throughout my life but that didn’t prepare me for being bed-ridden by my late-20s. I’d gallantly pushed on despite migraines, chronic daily headaches, tendinitis, mild scoliosis & asthma for over a quarter of a century — even keeping a job through what was presumably mono, despite having to drop out of college. Then.. No amount of willpower nor sense of urgency nor the strongest determination could make up for the fact that I was debilitatingly weak, constantly tired, painfully sore & cognitively spent.

CLICK to read the entire interview,
there’s something for EVERYone ~_~

• GO Jeanne! @jeanneendo celebrated her 1yr blogiversary by moving to her own domain; http://chronichealing.com #chronic #endo #fibro #ME #MCS #
• via @charitywater RT @TheWaterProject-Every day we don’t learn how we could do better is a wasted day. The ppl we serve demand our humility. #
• retwt of @spreadingjoy: Here are the results of our month of giving; http://bit.ly/20KF5B Thank you! [(|_|*to joy being created/shared*|_|)] #
• from @RhodesTer: 19 yrs of wedded bliss. Happy Annual-versary to US http://tinyurl.com/o74hz6 [his post's worth reading, my comment too] #
• btw, the “Annual-versary” post I tweeted of is of course @ http://rhodester.net so hope to see you there ~_^ @no1lefthere thanx Chris *mwah* in reply to no1lefthere #

“I <3 being married. It’s so great to find that 1 special person u want to annoy the rest of ur life.”-Rita Rudner http://bit.ly/9EwjV #quote #

• What @EmperorNorton said to an anti-abortion activist & other tho’ts.. http://cli.gs/UNjWh9 ..tho’ts I tend to agree with-esp wrt conscience #
• from @RhodesTer-My coffeesister’s sitting here quoting Roger Rabbit to someone in chat. (of course, he can only be quoted “when it’s funny”) #
• here’s @RhodesTer‘s latest blog post-A Visit From Father Phil- http://bit.ly/KZNNf -in which I use the word “exactly” exactly too many times #

It’s good to have an end to journey towards but it’s the journey that matters in the end. Ursula LeGuin (our means-not ends-define us) #quote #

• as we start our 20th year of marriage & @RhodesTer wraps up his 50th yr of life, w/so much in jeopardy, the contentment means that much more #
• retwt of @TIME: See pictures of Obama’s trip to Saudi Arabia | http://tr.im/njJh -via @rkref- (I particularly like the 6th photo in the set) #

great #quote via @motivational: “Other people & things can stop you temporarily. You’re the only one who can do it permanently.” -Zig Ziglar #

• retwt of @amyderby: I’m checking myself into Scrabble rehab. Word is, free Thorazine drip will be provided. (“Word is”-double meaning score) #
• via @Pistachio & @kitson-New Hampshire 6th state to legalize gay marriage; http://sn.im/nh0603 @BBC-joining Iowa, Conn, Mass, Maine, Vermont #
• officially blessing @deafmom‘s efforts “to pester @RhodesTer from now until Tuesday so all of Twitterville knows his birthday is coming up.” #
• Get clean water to 100 million people. Ask senators to cosponsor the Water for the World Act, sign the petition.. http://twitclicks.com/ks8j #

via TheONECampaign, wrt the tweet above
• came across the idea that being poor is only a frame of mind & all I can think is that the person being quoted has never experienced poverty #
• a must-see collection of gorgeous & amazing photographs at their own aptly named blog.. “Industrial Decay” http://ff.im/-3BZ0t (THX @Karoli) #


from the “Industrial Decay” blog, as tweeted above

YES @hochmann could NOT agree more ^_^ purity is pointless & unappreciated w/out a little wickedness to spice it up ~_^ (|_|*to balance*|_|) in reply to hochmann #

• retwt of @liveonpurpose: I need my supplements 2 function in my busy life (they ARE crucial tho’ need to be liquid or chewable to work best) #
• THANX for the stumbles on my interview by @AlexFayle, @kimota & @MrJWells as well as the reviews; OMG, @ndpthepoetress – http://bit.ly/1UKr1 #

from @EmperorNorton: [who] stops himself from wondering “what if”. There’s only What is. (which leads to What’s possible, “what if” doesn’t) #

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Silliness should be prized. I’ve had the good fortune of being raised with it as it’s always been one of my family’s most prized pursuits. None of us are class clowns or cut-ups (I had to marry to add that to the mix) but we love to laugh. We laugh readily & easily as well as good & long, especially when a shared bit of silly is the cause. Of course, it’s not so much the silliness as sharing it that we find infectious. Inside jokes are a constant. Our favorites are ones that don’t require insider information to be laughable so that anyone can join in. It also helps that those don’t require long memories since my maternal Grandma was the only one with a good memory.

“The more you laugh, The more you fill with glee
And the more the glee, The more we’re a merrier we!”
~ I Love To Laugh, “Mary Poppins” ~

What memories she had! One she shared time & again in her later years has become especially dear. When she & her siblings were quite small, one of her brothers would say, “YOU sooo siil-ly!” Grandma not only remembered it but quoted it exactly as that little boy during the Great Depression had said it. Such an appropriate remembrance too for she never would talk much about her childhood struggles; just pointing out that everyone does in one way or another. It was the little things she shared, like those long-ago words of her brother or a cherished doll (so rare amidst such poverty & no doubt the reason she collected dolls throughout her life).

“I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy… you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”
~ Katherine Mansfield ~

Optimism is a choice. While it does come more naturally for some than others, when paired with our often opposing natural inclinations, it’s a powerful tool. My mum tends to be pessimistic by nature but so childlike in her faith & hope that optimism is the knife she uses to cut her pessimism down to size. It wasn’t until Grandma’s recent death that I fully realized she was a Realistic Optimist just like me although I’d long understood that our souls saw the world in the same way. She considered us soulmates, teaching me early on that true connections are made through the soul & are never limited to romantic relationships.

Our souls are also how we connect to the world. The eyes are considered windows to that one part of us that is wholly unlike anyone else not solely because they allow a glimpse in but more importantly because it’s how we should be looking out. Memories, while precious, aren’t what make us who we are as is typically believed. My own broken brain & fictional explorations like Joss Whedon’s “Dollhouse” call such common wisdom (as if wisdom is ever common) into question. It’s our souls that define us & our experiences that shape us, regardless of how or if they’re remembered.

“There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.”
~ Arnold Bennett ~

Remembrance is simply a journey, along a path the lucky ones hope is true. Our strongest memories are born of our strongest emotions so the mosaic of our life has amazing & horrible moments equally highlighted. It really was the best of times & the worst of times but we choose which we want to build from. Of the numerous things my Grandma imparted to me, by far the most precious was her ability to focus on the good in myself & others. My mum & her parents each provided unconditional love; Granddad accepts people as they are which he passed on to his daughter who wanted me so badly she couldn’t help but love me while Grandma, as she did with everyone, saw all my flaws but never let them keep her from seeing all my potential.

“There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

Disappointment’s a given, hurt an inevitable risk & betrayal a likely eventuality. It’s not just human frailty that keeps things a far cry from perfect, our own circumstances work against us. To live is to live in interesting times. There are no easy fixes or guarantees; luck runs out, loved ones die, we let ourselves & others down, they reciprocate, no amount of hard work or positive thought leads to a particular outcome, goals can only keep you on track & acting on your dreams may not make a damn bit of difference. Letting any of that stop you is the only form of failure that really exists though.

“There are three things in life which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension so we must do what we can with the third.”
~ Indian Proverb ~

Laughter, recovery, love, perseverance; these are just as much a part of the human condition yet must be chosen. Grandma lived with everything listed previously but refused to get stuck in those aspects of life. In my own life, when I came close to not graduating high school, my mum wisely let her mum take over for a time & the truth Grandma consequently explained was the beginning of the beginning for me. She let me know in no uncertain terms that everything I did affected those who loved me & I had no choice in the matter because they would never stop loving me. It’s not that I thought unconditional love was a free pass but I hadn’t sorted the truth. It’s a responsibility.

“Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope too, can be given to one only by other human beings.”
~ Elie Wiesel ~

If we affect others without even trying, imagine the impact we can have on ourselves. The brilliance of my Grandma-given epiphany was that she specifically did not say I was hurting those I love, forcing me to face that the ripples were out of my control. When we’re struggling — be it financially, physically or psychologically — we tend to think we can limit the collateral damage by withdrawing. The reality is that we can’t make progress from that inward stance & those who are invested in us are already along for the ride. Whatever our progress or lack thereof, if we remember we’re not traveling alone, won’t we want to make the most of the trip?

Take life on, take others for who they really are & take in the good while accepting the bad so that you too can live as my Grandma did. Never one to hold back her opinions or not pursue her own interests, she learned to balance those needs with kindness & patience. She may have never gotten to live at the beach but she loved her community & there were things she didn’t accomplish but she whole-heartedly enjoyed the things she did. Always the better reflection of me, she’s put me back on track one final time & will always light my way. I’m used to having two mothers to call on this important holiday; instead, my mum & I will honor the one we shared by living our lives anew & making it a fun journey for all involved.

“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”
~ Yiddish Proverb ~

We’ll start with a little silliness..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather
[or grandmother] was.”
~ Abraham Lincoln [Grandma's hero, beside Granddad] ~

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• 

“Don’t curse the darkness – light a candle.”
~ Chinese Proverb ~
(we all have light to lend & light sources to draw from,
find what ignites you)

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple.
Take it and copy it.”
~ Anatole France ~

PS: While my quotationary-inspired posts have been on hold, I still pin, plus, tumbl or tweet quotationaries & encouragement fairly often. ~_^

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• 

Ay, there’s the rub; We compromise the quality of our lives when we don’t include quality rest. Many find it difficult to stop, to be still — within & without — yet we must. There’s no timetable but if we refuse to step down periodically, our bodies will eventually throw us down. Even with wonky health, I wasn’t slammed squarely into a bed I could scarcely get out of til well into my twenties. By incorporating rest & slowing the fuck down, I no longer have to rest constantly (even if still a lot).

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do
is take a complete rest.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
(downtime’s part & parcel of our uptime)

Just to keep me on track, I do still get thrown back into bed now & again. I landed there with an extended opportunity for downtime these past two weeks in fact & it did my body a necessary good to simply rest. My fever had spiked & it took the two weeks for it to completely break. Although the fever lessened each day, other symptoms kept me down for the count. My wee laptop typically enables me to stay online despite the myriad symptoms I experience each day but not when they worsen & collide.

“It is not good for all our wishes to be filled;
through sickness we recognize the value of health;
through evil, the value of good;
through hunger, the value of food;
through exertion, the value of rest.”
~ Dorothy Canfield ~

I’ve long since had to learn to heed my body’s need for downtime & learned to relish the balance incorporating it into my days created. Every time we break from routine, we give our mind a needed break. All it takes to give your mind & body the rest they not only deserve but need is just one chapter of a book or a single TV show Tivo’d. Whatever your poison, it won’t always be possible but take/make time for yourself & strive for that much needed out each day.

No matter how busy you might be, there is time in your day that you can divert to your own purposes. You can prioritize. You can incorporate simple pleasures and rituals of relaxation and regeneration into your regimen. The important thing is to wave relaxation into the fabric of your life. Like eating, breathing or sleeping, it is essential to your well-being.

There are things you can easily do that will bring you to a more centered, settled and healthful state of being. And nothing will affect your life more. The important thing to realize is that you control your life. You make it what you want it to be. By affecting the little things on a daily basis that you have control over, your whole life changes.

…[see ways to slow down and take time for yourself by Karen Adjmi]…

Give yourself the time and attention you deserve. When you do that, you’ll have a room of your own at the center of your life where there is peace and where the face you see in the mirror is beautifully relaxed.

Actual rest is potent stuff, restorative in the smallest doses & cumulative to boot. Never underestimate the benefits nor short-change yourself by not making downtime a priority. One thing I came to terms with this past week — once staying offline was as much a choice as not — was the blessing in disguise a vacation from the onslaught of information can be. This is practically blasphemous for me to assert, especially as I’d have no life to speak of without the internet, but the forced change of focus was a relief.

SlowDownNow.org‘s Manifesto:

If you can slow down when all around you are speeding up, then you’re one of us. Be proud that you are one of us and not one of them. For they are fast, and we are slow. There are those that would urge us to speed. We resist!

We shall not flag or fail. We shall slow down in the office, and on the roads. We shall slow down with growing confidence when all those around us are in a shrill state of hyperactivity (signifying nothing). We shall defend our state of calm, whatever the cost may be. We shall slow down in the fields and in the streets, we shall slow down in the hills, we shall never surrender!

Why? Because if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly. Some are born to slowness—others have it thrust upon them. And still others know that lying in bed with a morning cup of tea is the supreme state for mankind.

So, welcome back.. er.. Welcome, anyhow, now that I’m back. I’ve used this recent time of restoration to create yet more healthy habits thus my health should actually improve as a result. What doesn’t kill us can make us stronger if we use it. What also makes us stronger are the simple goals we set for ourselves; we’re remade with each one achieved. As important as it is to live each day to its fullest, we must also live toward a sustainable future & the key is to start that future today, even in the smallest way.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Taking time to rest improves the rest of our time.”
~ Dorian Rhodes ~

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• 

Perspectives have been written, definitions offered & statistics studied yet, amidst it all, two things hold true; poverty is more widespread than people realize & there, but for any moment’s given grace, go all. We’ve all suffered setbacks, perhaps even encountered a chain reaction of them & our successes are as attributable to us as made possible by circumstance. Although our individual brands of success aren’t just the luck of the draw, each draw plays its part.

“In a country well governed,
poverty is something to be ashamed of.
In a country badly governed,
wealth is something to be ashamed of.”
~ Confucius ~

“If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature,
but by our institutions, great is our sin.”
~ Charles Darwin ~

Location, location, location. As with any money-making endeavor, it plays a huge role. Locale not only impacts our solvency but changes the scale on which it’s measured. Due to living in the United States, there’s a level of poverty I’ll never know for even homelessness here is not without clean water & the refuse of the wasteful. In turn, what money we manage to make does surprisingly little in this ridiculously (if falsely) rich country of mine.

“We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise anyone who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking in ambition.”
~ William James ~

“You are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life
and your reward will be that you will eat,
but you will not live.”
~ George Bernard Shaw ~

When inherent value is ascribed to a place, its people are valued accordingly. The resulting range of presumption leading to prejudice cuts both ways. RhodesTer & I are oft assumed better off then we are, based solely on where we live. Devaluing areas like New Orleans & so-called third world countries which are all amazingly rich in culture is equally backwards. Whether living someplace you can scarcely afford or where survival is scarcely affordable, benefits do exist but are never financial.

“Poverty is no disgrace to a man,
but it is confoundedly inconvenient.”
~ Sydney Smith, ‘His Wit and Wisdom’ ~

“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.”
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

“You can turn painful situations around through laughter.
If you can find humor in anything,
even poverty, you can survive it.”
~ Bill Cosby ~

Riches that aren’t monetary need greater priority, not only in seeking them for ourselves but ensuring them for all. It’s possible that love, self-worth & fulfillment aren’t rights but we can’t truly live without them. By recognizing those as the worthy goals & true measurements of success, we’ll better understand how to foster survival for all people in all circumstances. In both our own lives & the aid we hope to give, it’s the small acts that sow magnificent change.

“Empty pockets never held anyone back.
Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale ~

“The poor man is not he who is without a cent,
but he who is without a dream.”
~ Harry Kemp ~

“Who, being loved, is poor?”
~ Oscar Wilde ~

Poverty is never a lack of things but is any lack of sustainability. Each accomplishment matters & every gift makes a difference yet they must be part of a greater good to have a lasting impact. Although still [monetarily] poor, my hunny & I are defeating various forms of poverty. From spending what little we have on healthier food to not spending what little we have on a bed when we also need a sofa, our choices may not readily change our circumstances but do improve our chances.

“My poverty is not complete: it lacks me.”
~ Antonio Porchia, ‘Voces’ ~

“Poor and content is rich, and rich enough.”
~ William Shakespeare ~

“They say it is better to be poor and happy
than rich and miserable,
but how about a compromise
like moderately rich and just moody?”
~ Princess Diana ~

As a people, the populace of this planet, we’re called upon to take this crazy ride called life together. Look beyond circumstances without ignoring difficulties to see people for who they are & understand their needs simply are. In recognizing our own blessings, regardless of the trappings, we can’t help but want to enrich any other life we can. The miraculous thing is that there’s not a life we can’t touch & we already affect more lives than we realize. Let’s invest in each other’s wealth of being.

“The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other.
It is not, as poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity,
but of a set of priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently, the modern poor are not pitied…but written off as trash. The twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for which a beggar is a reminder of nothing.”
~ John Berger ~

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“However mean your life is, meet it and live it:
do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.”
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

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• 

What’s your freedom? Last Friday was Independence Day, Canada Day was the Tuesday before & this coming Monday is Bastille Day. That’s a hell of a lot of freedom being celebrated this month. Whether mindful of existing freedoms or aware of any lack thereof, July offers food for thought. It was also this month that a certain crash occurred in Roswell, New Mexico. That same year, 1947, my grandparents married; the two events may or not be related. Both were pivotal moments of freedom though. Roswell exemplifies our freedom, not to mention need, to question government as well as what possibilities the universe holds. Equally existential for me is the marriage of Don & Peg Dorey, made possible by Grandma’s freedom to remarry.

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed;
it must be achieved.”
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

Free to choose again, to be, to explore, to question, to celebrate; freedoms come in all sizes. The Fourth of July is the day the US (then Continental) Congress adopted The Declaration of Independence, wherein we “declare[d] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…” Canada Day, on the other hand, didn’t declare separation from Britain but celebrated the creation of the Dominion (the holiday’s original name) of Canada, making them self-governing. Then there’s Bastille Day which marked the beginning of the French Revolution & the end of absolute monarchy with the storming of a prison — a powerful symbol of liberty.

“Order without liberty and liberty without order
are equally destructive.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

Be it by separation, self-empowerment or force, independence can be established a myriad of ways. Throughout high school, I often asserted mine by running away. I was never gone long for, willing as I was to put my mum through Hell, I wasn’t willing to subject her to the lower circles. Continuing the theme, I moved out at 17. A year later, once my ward had graduated, I moved back due to illness & debt but with new rules, the most important of which was my own entrance. My family was down a Ping-Pong table & up a fiercely independent teen who’d just lost her independence. Or had I? One day, I found a Post-It Momma had put on my desk which was not uncommon but this one had a message I never forgot.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

True independence is a state of mind not of being. There could not have been a more powerful or timely epiphany yet my mum maintained she learned it by watching me. After years of trying to prove my independence, confusing it with self-reliance, it wasn’t until it seemed out of reach — as true with so much — that I started claiming it. Forced to abandon preconceived notions, my freedoms were being established in unexpected & more significant ways. I was communicating, rebuilding relationships, giving back, taking the support I needed, living my own life while considerate of others. Although not the freedom I’d ever envisioned, I was becoming truer to myself everyday. That truth needed to take root within before it could be expressed without.

“We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.”
~ William Faulkner ~

Forays into freedom are certainly part of the process yet freedoms are too easily bartered the more there is at stake. There are so many we, as a society, have yet to establish, making those we try to protect that much more precious. For all the freedoms we are given, lose, have yet to gain or give away, none matter as much as what we establish for ourselves. Thankfully, there will always be those marvelous troublemakers that will take the creation of liberty to the next level & help ensure others share in the experience. Even those who affect the greater good had to effect their own change first. So it is with all of us. As Gandhi said, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. We need to claim the freedoms that feed our souls.

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”
~ Moshe Dayan ~

Find your freedom. If there’s any reason you’re not free to be yourself, you’re not free. If you’re independently wealthy but not independent in thought, you’re not free. If you’re maintaining control without finding contentment, you’re not free. When your life is not your own but your actions are, you’re free. When the world is not your oyster but you’ve found a pearl, you’re free. While the big picture is indeed important, the panes it’s made of are crucial. Look at the individual pieces of your life puzzle &, à la Sesame Street, watch for what doesn’t belong. What small freedom could or have you established for yourself that would or did make a huge difference? I recently admitted I wasn’t willing ready to work, freeing myself to keep getting better well. When life’s difficult but there’s hope, we’re free.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~

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• 

You chose to stop by & I thank you! I chose to write & you may even thank me. Our gratitude is for each other’s choices, if also for each other.. It’s choice for which we should be thankful & no doubt assume we are. Are we using our choices, though? Like gratitude & love, to be effective, choice needs to be proactive. Choices alone don’t bring about results &, left alone, still lead to change but not of our making. We have to own our choices, appreciate them.

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want,
and all that is left is compromise.”
~ Robert Fritz ~

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it,
that is in itself a choice.”
~ William James ~

What we do or don’t do with our choices affects the next set of possibilities we create. How empowering is that?! Not only are there any number of possibilities available to us at all times but we can change them up, often increasing our options in the process, with each choice we make. The choices we make passively — through inaction or hesitance — change up the mix too. Wouldn’t you rather choose the direction your choices are taking you?

“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back,
and choose the path that leads to wisdom.”
~ Buddha ~

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.”
~ Cherie Carter-Scott ~

Fear of failure is a natural inclination & the typical cause of hesitation. Whereas hesitation can be prudent, make sure it’s by choice & not a result of being afraid to act. Life choices require planning thus slow & steady will bring those larger choices to fruition. During the process, there are day to day choices that can support the larger one. Brett, who I’ve mentioned, has taken such a journey on & the comment thread his announcement inspires covers great ground.

“I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on.”
~ Stephen Sondheim ~

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”
~ Denis Waitley ~

Choices factor into everything we do, how we feel & how we feel about what we’re doing. Turning a blind eye to anything but the obvious choices undermines the additional potential each choice has. A snow-covered driveway is a good example as you could choose to simply shovel yet you could also make snow-angels. Consider making angels then shoveling or break up the shoveling with a snowball fight. Notice the bonus that you’re also less likely to work alone.

“Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.”
~ William A. Foster ~

“There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.”
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

As we weave our choices together to create experiences we want & develop opportunities we’re interested in, we explore our own empowerment & learn to construct days that are never wasted by establishing new baselines. Accepting each choice, every mistake, the chosen failures as uniquely ours reveals them as the lessons & stepping stones they always had the potential to be. Appreciate choices that led to better ones & those that were right in their moment.

“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose,
to respond, to change.”
~ Stephen R. Covey ~

“It is our choices that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.”
~ J. K. Rowling ~

Don’t leave well enough alone; heed what you’re feeling & either express it or act on it. It’s choice that makes our lives our own & it can’t help but improve them. From attitude-adjustments to full overhauls, by actively choosing, we’re learning to live in the moment yet that concept is often misunderstood. It’s not so much the creation of happy lives as effective ones that taking charge of our moments allows us. We’re able to choose how we feel but only if we first choose to feel thus to live.

“Life is not a continuum of pleasant choices, but of inevitable problems that call for strength, determination, and hard work.”
~ Indian Proverb ~

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing,
I would choose pain.”
~ William Faulkner ~

PS: I’m choosing to make these quote-filled posts a regular happening.

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• 

It may seem All Fools’ Day is about making fools of others but what it really reveals is that we’re all fools, as its original name suggests. When we remember that we’re all in this “human race” together, how can we not also remember that we’re all potentially foolish all the time — or should be. More accurately, we should always be willing to seem foolish. If, indeed, we are fools; we can only hope someone cares enough to call us on it but, moreover, that we’re paying attention when they do.

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
~ Mark Twain ~

“However big the fool, there is always a bigger fool to admire him.”
~ Nicholas Boileau-Despréaux ~

Why appear to be something you’re not? Particularly in a world where being real is once again becoming more recognized & rewarded, surely the goal should always be truth to self. Therein lies the foolish irony, it’s only in trying not to be fools that we become them. It’s in caring how we’re being perceived that we lose touch with what we could be perceiving. If, instead, we release our inner fool; we not only challenge, & hopefully surprise, ourselves but those around us.

“Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius-and a lot of courage-to move in the opposite direction.”
~ Albert Einstein ~

“He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in
the direction of wisdom.”
~ James Gibbons ~

An openness to foolishness may be our best protection against giving in to it. Much like it takes an open mind to mature as people, perhaps it takes an open soul to mature as humans. As we tap into our sympathy & even empathy with a ‘there but for the grace of God’ mentality, we’re able to set aside preconceived notions. If, in turn, we embrace each other’s foolishness; we begin to see people’s worth as relative, thus always present, rather than comparative.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”
~ Dale Carnegie ~

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows
himself to be a fool.”
~ William Shakespeare ~

Breaking free of the expectations we have for ourselves is how we begin to make sincere choices. In the process of making choices that matter, not just those that follow a plan, we explore the import of each one. Knowing our own hearts & minds is certainly simpler if each decision isn’t impacted by the all-too-human fear of being made the fool. If, intellectually, we start to consider alternatives that seem foolish at the outset; we may discover paths of purpose rather than just the smart, safe choices.

“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.”
~ Charlie Chaplin ~

“A wise man remembers his friends at all times; a fool, only when he has need of them.”
~ Turkish Proverb ~

Giving equal consideration to so-called foolishness would increase our awareness of our own options & improve our appreciation of others’ choices. It’s no more justifiable to view someone else’s life through the context of your own than to never question what you’re doing with yours. Be the one to question yourself, don’t leave it to others. If, internally, we come to recognize happiness when we see it; we become ever more capable of experiencing it, by understanding it takes on a different form & function for everyone.

“There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.”
~ Sir Francis Bacon ~

“A fool dreams of wealth; a wise man, of happiness.”
~ Turkish Proverb ~



(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.”
~ Cynthia Heimel ~

“We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.”
~ Japanese Proverb ~

PS: With all the pranks that’ve been played this day, it’s my sincere hope you had a chance to revel in the silliness at some point. While I followed many a link & slowed the progress of this very post, Google continues to be my favorite source of foolishness (as well as productivity, talk about win-win). If you’re a Gmail user, you may remember their new paper offer. Another year, Gmail kept the paper electronic but offered a new feature. As desperately as I want an e-flux capacitor, nothing compares to this possibility! Since I’m an avid user of Virgin too, I was especially excited about this joint effort.

“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one,
that proves you have a sense of humor.”
~ Max Eastman ~

PPS: I’d like to leave you on a more serious note as April is Autism Awareness Month. Autism covers a huge spectrum of differently-functioning brains so there’s much to learn & awareness is the key to pursuing that knowledge. We must question the status quo & force answers to be found. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have only been collecting data since 2001!?

“If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.”
~ Carl Jung ~

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• 

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream was ultimately one of compassion for it’s through sympathy that we’re able to recognize each other’s humanity & find common ground. No matter how great or small the issues, nor how different someone may seem, we must remember how alike we are when all is said & done.

“I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

Character is born of personality & forged by experience. Those two forces are different for all of us & the combination even more so yet we ALL face common experiences with similar personality traits. While we individualize them as we grow (both figuratively & literally), they are all but identical at their core.

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”

Amidst the need for food & lodging are the desires for expression & companionship; these are the very pursuits that motivate each & every one of us. Although the results are varied, the reasons are the same. From our most basic inspirations — love, fear, happiness, sadness — to our greater aspirations, like self-fulfillment or altruism, we’re taking the same journey.

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”

The paths differ immensely but the people on those pathways are just that; PEOPLE! None of us are intrinsically more or less than another. When someone’s beliefs, speech, actions, culture, looks or — God forbid — existence comes into question, we need to personalize being questioned for who we are. I sincerely hope none of us would stand for it.

As valid as it is to live & let live, may we all work toward empathy & not settle for apathy. Every single one of us is making choices based on the same criteria; it’s just the specific criteria that differs. So, rather than getting caught up in the whats, whys & whences of those for whom no kinship is felt, look past those insignificant differences to the sameness — the humanness.

“Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which
we do not see.”

Even if empathy & altruism do not come easily, remember too that any grudge or hatred born is borne by YOU. It’s when it’s acted upon that others are most clearly affected yet it will not only be a burden to bear but too often is the source of silence. When we struggle to understand someone, that struggle is entirely our own so its positive and negative results belong to us as well.

“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.”

It’s a simple but inescapable truth that freedom for ourselves requires freedom for others. Standing aside when someone else is in jeopardy or simply in need of understanding effectively leaves us standing on line to be next. It’s also true that we learn more about ourselves by learning about others. Moreover, loving who we’d like is inextricably connected to loving who we’d never imagine.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great
a burden to bear.”

Imagine how you’d like to treat those you deeply care about.. To whatever extent we’re able to care for those we thought we never could, we increase our ability to care & how we’re cared for. Regardless of your interests, compassion quota or current ability; it only takes a moment to be considerate &, each time you allow yourself to consider someone else’s perspective, you’ve made the world a better place.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is,
‘What are you doing for others?’”

This year’s theme for the observance of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday is Remember! Celebrate! Act! A Day On…Not A Day Off. Let’s remember then how little it really takes to make a difference as we celebrate our differences & act far more compassionately to each other hence forth!? Do as much or as little as you can, knowing that every effort is added to a collective whole that will see us all to a greater good.

“Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
All quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr.

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The leader of the band has died & my eyes are crying still, but his words run through my varied thoughts & his song is in my soul.. My life has been much better for the music of this man; he was a living legacy & still leader of the band.

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul –
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I’m just a living legacy
To the leader of the band.
~ Leader of the Band ~

Although the song my heartfelt words are based on is about his father, Dan Fogelberg picked up where his father left off & absolutely was the living legacy any musician could hope for. Moreover, he was a poet; honest & direct, offering words that reflected what we’ve all been through. By keeping his songs alive in our hearts & minds, we will in turn take the next watch. To further continue his legacy, may no-one else die of Prostate Cancer.

It’s the chance of a lifetime
In a lifetime of chance
And it’s high time you joined
In the dance
~ Run for the Roses ~

He had reminded us that life’s fleeting & urged us to make the most of the time we have. He led that charge by example, giving his words added meaning. My Granddad, who just miraculously & ever so thankfully turned 88 a couple months ago, is a survivor of Prostate Cancer. To add insult to the injury of losing Dan to something essentially treatable, he was merely the same age as my mom!?

Love when you can
Cry when you have to
Be who you must
That’s a part of the plan
~ Part of the Plan ~

He became a part of my own being right in the middle of my high school years, of all times. As a punk, alcoholic, habitual runaway; there was little connecting me to the parental unit. Coffee was just about the only common ground left with Momma & I’d certainly never had much in common with her husband. The only thing we all agreed on was some of their music, which is to say Dan Fogelberg.

What we really want
You know we rarely say
Such is the language of love.
~ The Language of Love ~

They each offered me worthwhile vinyl — No age cracks lest you sound like a broken record. — to peruse. I had always shared John Denver & a plethora of 60′s options with Momma while I agreed with David (That’s his name, not to be confused with my Dave.) on the likes of Blood, Sweat & Tears. The Eagles were equally enjoyed by all three of us but nothing compared to Dan on this front for we were all actually moved by him.

Our words don’t ever seem to
Say enough
But a simple smile
A tender touch
Speaks the true language of love.
~ The Language of Love ~

Music is recognized as the universal language. Given the separate universes family members take refuge in, music can become both the only language left & the bridge to any other. It wasn’t a generation gap needing bridging but one of resentment thus only Dan’s truly human sentiments could do so. In the midst of his lyrics, each of us singing despite ourselves, we were one. Truth be told, even though Momma & I emerged stronger, Dan Fogelberg may well be the only thing David & I really agree on; especially his song to my mom:

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you.
~ Longer ~

Dan’s departure from this world does feel like a personal loss yet there’s so much he’ll continue to give me; it hardly seems fair. What I can’t imagine, by the grace of God, is what his family is going through. They’re being notified of the donations made in his memory to fight the cancer that took him & there’s a site to share our condolences. Surely the ongoing feedback prolongs the hurt even while easing the pain. That which offers meaning though is never black or white; nothing ultimately is & he understood that.

Oh, If I had you beside me
Then I just might sleep through the night
Your love is the promise that guides me
All of the days of my life.
~ Missing You ~

I’m out of words for now but not out of tears. Yet, like so many times before, he speaks for me.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
I have cried too long
No more sorrow
Got to carry on.
~ Phoenix ~

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I have a deep-seated ambivalence toward home. Those who’ve peopled my homes have for the most part been a bit of heaven on Earth which is what I think home essentially is when achieved. Yet, home is also something I strove to survive. My grandparents provided my first home & they continue to be the closest thing to the ideal of home I’ve ever known.

“I have been very happy with my homes, but homes really are no more than the people who live in them.”
~ Nancy Reagan ~

The best thing I can say about my so-called hometown is that it helped create my desire to travel. I will admit, though, that being from a small town kept the limits I was determined to push within the realm of survivability. Being a California girl is a state (HA) of which I’m both proud & thankful as, despite the Central Valley‘s failings, it is right between the ocean & mountains.

“Home is where you hang your head.”
~ Groucho Marx ~

Having felt more at home away from many of the houses that served the purpose, it’s not surprising I’ve made a practice of creating home wherever I go. Perhaps growing up in a specific house that serves as home creates more likelihood to equate house & home. What’s particularly sad is when the two get confused; a container’s true value comes from what it holds. House-keeping is not the same as home-making.

“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.”
~ Matsuo Basho ~

There was a family home that not only proved my escape & salvation but which provided the type of tangible memories I’ve always imagined typical of childhood. Recently discovering it will be sold was difficult in both fact & timing, given the odyssey of homelessness I’ve been on for a year. The loss of what was essentially my childhood home may enhance my appreciation for having a home but does nothing to increase my interest in what form it takes.

“Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.”
~ Christian Morgenstern ~

What has been missing for the past year is a safe haven. No longer having the Camp Nelson home pictured above certainly increases that lack since it was the first haven I knew; it taught me a place can be as nurturing as its people. Sadly, I hadn’t been there for two years & no longer being able to spend time in my home away from home made having my own haven yet more important while it remained nearly impossible.

“Oh! be he king or subject, he’s most blest,
who in his home finds happiness and peace.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, “Iphigenia in Tauris” ~

Not only is it the people that make a house a home but houses & homes alike are extensions of their people. A house that requires more energy than it fosters can never be a nurturing home. The energy of a home is reciprocal. My own limited energy is only in balance with a smaller space to maintain but it also needs to be a space I can make my own. The studio apartment that just became RhodesTer‘s & mine through a dark comedy of errors is likely the best fit I’ve ever had.

“I long, as does every human being,
to be at home wherever I find myself.”
~ Maya Angelou ~

Just like with so much else, it truly is the quality of a space not the quantity of space that counts. There are many who believe quantity lends quality & it may justifiably go together for some. Yet, it’s people of the UTMOST quality that seem to have — or is it need? — the least quantity. Jim & René have a space akin to our new one only theirs is mobile. Lisa, her man & her cat are on a similar odyssey to the one we’ve hopefully now ended. Julie & her family are facing the very situation that led to our year-long homelessness.

“One may have a blazing hearth in one’s soul and yet no one ever come to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on the way.”
~ Vincent van Gogh ~

Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate a beautiful house. Old homes seem practically alive to me & architecture is a passion since I love artistry in all its forms. The history of that Camp Nelson home lent to its significance, various homes growing up provided irreplaceable spaces within them & the one house ever owned was exactly what I needed at the time. Of course, having a house convinced my hunny & I that we never wanted one again yet we did both enjoy & need that one while we had it. Everyone’s life, in its various seasons, will have & be able to support different ideals. I will forever be grateful I had an opportunity to design a home:

“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.”
~ Charles Dickens ~

One of my earliest homes was in a stairwell; the adjoining bedroom was almost beside the point. There was the corner which held the kitchen table in Camp Nelson, lost to a remodel three decades ago, that I would’ve gladly camped out in indefinitely & practically did. There’ve even been wee spaces in odd places; a picnic table outside the math building in highschool, a bench not too far from the coffee in the college quad, a creek bed in Camp Nelson, a meadow in the foothills, inside the circle made by the branches of a Weeping Willow & a funky studio in Palm Springs.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
Home is where you feel at home..

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In that small pocket — supposedly for coinage — my jeans provide, I carry a small cross inscribed with the word HOPE. My mom carries its twin but for a different inscription: BELIEVE. We bought them as gifts for each other during a joint vigil while my Grandma was in hospital.

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

While we mutually agreed the wee crosses were charming reminders of essential things & must be exchanged, we each chose the other’s. There was a basket full of concepts worthy of being toted on one’s person but absolutely no contest as to which should be chosen.

“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.”
~ George Iles ~

For as long as I can remember, Momma has chosen to believe.. Phenomenally enough, in belief itself. While she was susceptible to doubting herself, she refused to doubt the possibilities that lay within her children or the world at large. She’s an active reminder that anything is possible.

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”
~ Anne Lamott ~

The beauty of commitment to that level of belief is that it’s mind opening. Not only does it free you to think outside the box but said box becomes a mere dot on the horizon. Your hopes take on shapes never before designed. Your dreams are no longer fathomable by many.

“Hope is the dream of a soul awake.”
~ French Proverb ~

The irony is, when you grow up understanding you really can be whatever you want, you’re not likely to opt for anything imaginable by most. The ideals you doggedly pursue may seem a far cry from ideal to the casual onlooker. There are no limits & happiness is a choice you repeatedly make along the way.

“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.”
~ Emily Dickinson ~

The seed of faith my mom planted has grown into a life without regret. No matter what form my life takes at any given time, I’m thrilled to be living it & excited about where I’m headed. So invested am I in the journey rather than the destination that I’m willing to take my time. I don’t want to just smell the roses, I want to watch them grow.

“What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life.”
~ Emil Brunner ~

Momma always called me her “Pollyanna” whose Glad Game is second nature to me. Due to my passionate curiosity about the world & beyond, I’ve seen its darkness as well as my own. It’s that contrasting view, without the benefit of rose-colored glasses, that gives meaning to what light shines through.

“Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.”
~ Jean Kerr ~

While admittedly an eternal optimist, my optimism is tempered — no, balanced — with realism. As a realistic optimist, my circumstances are never tainted by hope but neither is my hope ever diminished by circumstance. Difficulty & possibility are met shoulder to shoulder.

A person’s optimism in the future seems to be controlled by a small front part of the mid-brain, according to a study that used brain imaging.

That area deep behind the eyes activates when people think good thoughts about what might happen in the future. The more optimistic a person is, the brighter the area showed up in brain scans, the scientists reported in a small study published online Thursday in the journal Nature. [source]

Now I know, I’m physiologically justified in my extreme optimism. It just so happens that part of my brain is wired that way, just as the part of my brain that perceives pain is likely wired wrong.

“When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God.”
~ Charles L. Allen ~

It may seem my faith in God makes sense of my determined hope yet hope was my first basis for faith. My life is in halves now; the first half being lived by that determination alone with the discoveries made since adding untold dimension to hope. This article touches on the fact that no evidence is needed to support expectation:

“Understanding healthy optimism is important because optimism is related to mental and physical health and to success. We can have people who are not necessarily depressed but have different levels of optimism,” said another of the researchers, Tali Sharot of University College London who was at NYU when the study was conducted.

With all outward proof currently lacking, I nonetheless know my hunny & I have made progress toward our inexplicable goals. Moreover, that we’re right on track & just where we should be.

“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense,
regardless of how it turns out.”
~ Vaclav Havel ~

Living wholly in the here & now, rather than for the future, may look like failure to some; it certainly takes some bizarre detours but, as my Grandma always says, “This too shall pass.”

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
~ Thomas Edison ~

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I’m damaged goods, in more ways than one, the most literal being that I’m brain-damaged. It’s not apparent to most, given that I’m still fairly smart & rather capable. Alas, I used to be smarter & much more capable. Of course, smarts in this scenario consist largely of knowledge. Moreover, access to it. Thankfully, intelligence reaches beyond information.

“I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself.”
~ Michel de Montaigne ~

As for capable, I can’t do – much less follow — nearly as much as I once did; without a second thought, no less. Speaking of thought, it’s now more difficult but also more necessary as I repeatedly sort how things are done. The simplest tasks can be the most difficult at any given time. My pseudo-functionality ranges from teaching myself daily tasks again & again to figuring out how shoelaces are tied when it’s been a while since I wore boots.

“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

Amidst the ongoing struggle just to function, my lack of memories is hardest. Context is the key to accessing info &, the further an event or fact is in time or relation to others, the less it has. It’s troublesome enough finding ways to compile the day to day data but significantly easier than trying to remember anything already past. Personal memories are most elusive as their only context is each other & there are so few sources for clues.

“Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags
and throws away food.”
~ Austin O’Malley ~

From what little I can remember, what I knew of myself before the drain bamage was surprisingly spare. Therefore, the inability to remember those innocuous facts that comprise me should be something I’m used to & utterly understand in others. Yet, perhaps because I do have so little access to who I am on my own, I’m unduly disappointed when I can’t prompt a memory from someone in a position to know — much less care.

“When I was younger, I could remember anything,
whether it had happened or not.”
~ Mark Twain ~

One thing I’ve learned is that the stronger the emotion, the stronger the memory. While this fortunately means that such days as my wedding day are not completely lost to me, nor are the days that were anything but happy. I’ve always believed in living each day to its fullest & living totally in the present is a huge part of that, even if no longer done by choice. I can’t help but hope to regain self-sufficiency along the way tho’ that’s not entirely my choice either. Under the category Blessing in Disguise, I’ve learned to accept the help I consistently require, even if a few hopes are changed up in the mix.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backward.”
~ the Queen in “Through the Looking Glass” by Lewis Carroll ~

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