The Time Warp !_!

Where DOES the time go? I know that MYgraines, landlord lunacy & a certain birthday accounts for much of this past week. As a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, I’m not prone to stress. That being said, the sheer tenacity it can take to get through the day-to-day takes its toll. Therefore, nearly a week going by without a post may make perfect sense in the current scheme of things but none-the-less baffles me. Surely there was a moment in there somewhere in which I could’ve nurtured my hopefully burgeoning audience?!

Limbo is nothing new to me but its steadily growing presence just now is beyond distracting. Imagine a storm cloud becoming ever larger & darker til it blots out the sun. No real worries given the knowledge it’ll pass yet there are certain things that cannot readily be done during its reign. The current quandary & conflux of events has my brain somewhat on hold in turn. Don’t let this comparison imply anything other than an absolute love of storms for I’m not typically that literal & now is no exception. Instead, it’s the approaching eviction date that gives the current storm mass & the lack of anywhere to go that darkens it.

All lines of logic have run askew of late. If this then we’re homeless. If that then we’re running out of time. No longer does A lead to B much less then lead to C & forget poor D as suddenly all roads lead to E[EK]. If the other, how will I make money? Having been stuck in self-perpetuating cycles, I see now that they were just that; nothing compared to the vicious cycle my husband & I now face. Work outside the home isn’t an option til living in reach of workplaces but finding lodgings without the additional income is a herculean challenge. Working from home is what will give way to the future we envision yet takes quite some time to show a return.

Between brain farts & freezes, I try to imagine what our next move is. Literally. It’s an odd bunch of ridiculously basic questions with which to start one’s 40th year. C’est la vie! Our dissenters of late have let us know that we complain &/or fail too much for their liking. That alone could/should send me on a rant of how expectations born of one’s own life & experiences canNOT be applied to ANYone else. No-one should be living by anything other than their own specifications for happiness. At present, our circumstances are just dire enough that even a mere mention could come off as complaint & simply being in such a circumstance can be construed as failure.

If there’s one High School English lesson that needs to be carried with everyone throughout life; it’s context, context, context. Due to our desire to achieve an atypical brand of success, rebuilding repeatedly has been part & parcel of the process. Each time we start again from scratch, we’re glad to be reinventing our potential & recognize that whatever has gone before was not meant to be. There are those (aka the Bourgeoisie) who’ll see such reasoning as justification. So be it. We cannot control how we are perceived. Besides, I’d much rather focus my energy on what I hope to achieve.

With trepidation that these next two weeks will pass at Warp Speed & foreboding as to where that wormhole will lead, we can do naught but stumble forth. As much as I’d love to march toward a brighter future, the light’s just not on at the end of the tunnel yet.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.”
~ Bob Dylan ~

Tagged as: home, perception, time