Week lost, journey continued

by coffeesister on 28 June 2008

Ever have one of those lives? We all have blessings others don’t & curses that differ from each other but also have more in common than meets the eye. A nice example is my fairly newfound friend Charee; I’ve never been business-minded & she has better health than I but we feel a kinship, strongly relating despite our differences. One of the many things we do have in common is an appreciation for Fiona Apple who wisely asserts two states of being in her song, “Extraordinary Machine.”

“I’m good at being uncomfortable so I can’t stop changing all the time.” Always exploring, never settling, my life’s indeed a journey yet that doesn’t keep me from enjoying the various stages. As with any travel plans, delays occur. I could get caught up in the lack of progress being made or simply enjoy the detours. Part of the mystique that is Charee is her openness to life’s oddities despite a more regimented routine. Our choices direct our travel but we’re also simply along for the ride. There are those who can’t reconcile the ever-present yin & yang of all we are & do.

“He’s no good at being uncomfortable so he can’t stop staying exactly the same.” Thus, they shield themselves. The most common shielding comes in the form of preoccupation — be it with goals, busyness, problem finding & solving — the blinders stay firmly in place. If you come across someone that’s not struggling in some way, chances are they’re not delving deep enough to stir up trouble. Then there’s the rest of us.. Our war zones vary & our battles require differing armament but we’re together in the trenches.

Willing to question, provoke & change; we uncover new possibilities, recover old truths & discover ourselves. The key to navigating the inevitable upheaval is not to get discouraged for resolution’s also inevitable. We don’t need to protect ourselves from chaos so much as learn not to take it on as our own. We can take responsibility without shouldering blame by focusing on the wherefores not the “where’d I go wrongs?” Already opting to post weekly til my blog’s on WordPress, I skipped a week. Worse yet, I didn’t use that time as intended.

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

My health had its say in that pseudo-decision, as did the need/desire to catch up on replying to comments before generating more. Alas, I only finished answering comments on the post I’d been answering the week before but they are loverly & worthy of replacing posting a week ago. Recognizing that I’m currently anemic & suffering — as my mum aptly called it — an energy crisis, I choose to continue on as I’m able; no more, no less. Despite my love of comments & replying to them, the brain fog I’ve endured for the last two weeks existed.

That’s right, it existed, it simply did. That’s all there is to it; I accept it, learn from it (I’m eliminating what processed foods I can.) & move on. Living surprisingly decently right at the poverty line still clarifies the vicious cycle poverty is. The impact on health alone is no small one; not owning a bed or being able to afford decent food keeps stamina at a minimum for anyone. Although I hate to cry “poor me,” such realities create a downward trend with my already ailing health. Since we’ve all had struggles & distractions, let’s dialog, setting our struggles aside & making our distractions worthwhile. Comments? Comments, anyone? I will answer.. eventually.. :roll:

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Transformation contains both change and stability, plurality and unity, movement and constancy. It has the nature of life, namely, to connect organically the polar opposites, the stumbling blocks of logic, and to unite them in an all embracing rhythm.”
~ Lama Govinda ~

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1

Rene 28.06.08 at 4:29 pm

Don’t be so hard on yourself sista, your plan to cope sounds like a good one.

A lot of people shield themselves by preoccupying themselves with shopping for cheap plastic crap. What’s going to happen to them now that this so-called hobby is becoming unaffordable?

Maybe there will be a huge awakening in consciousness. We can only hope.

2

Charee 28.06.08 at 9:25 pm

Dorian,

I’m so completely touched that you feel so strongly about our friendship that you wrote of it on your blog. You know, we may be two very different people for anyone on the outside looking in but I think we both know perfectly well, where the true beauty lies – and the important similarities – are what brought us together – thankfully prompted by the coffee and the tunes :D . For anyone too numb from preoccupation to take notice of this kind of beauty, I am truly sorry. And I can only hope that they’ll one day wake up from the coma long enough to realize that true happiness is rarely achieved without an open mind and yes – sacrifice. Our pain, in any form, brings us together and makes us so much stronger than we may ever really know. (I can speak to this coma because I found myself in one a few years back and am constantly fighting against unimportant priorities.)

Your pain is very different and I hate to know you’re in such prolonged states of it. You’re too good a person to live with this for so long and yet you have risen above it time and time and time again. If there’s one thing you’ve taught me these past few months is how to keep going no matter the obstacle – to live without regret & never lose yourself along the way (ok..so three things+). I am glad you write about it though as it does you no good to keep it inside where it can do more damage. You know that so many people around you care about you deeply. We may live inside your computer…but we’re here. And we’re never more than a Tweet, DM, Plurk or Stickam chat away :) . (Oh and BTW…special thanks to Dave for opening up the Rhodeshow so that we could steal a few moments to actually see each other here and there ;) .)

Your advice, based on your own life experiences, never fails to run deeply (which is how I’ve come to realize where part of your blog’s title comes in). And, I know you are your own worst critic when it comes to getting to your comments and next post drafted. But you know what, it’s OK. There’s no hurry as anyone who knows you, knows you will get to it eventually and it will be well worth the wait.

And so in close, here are a few of my favorite inspiring quotes to celebrate and illustrate the strength and love in the person I’ve come to know… (that’s you silly – and I’m sure you’ll recognize these quotes too):

(|_|*to living without regret & never losing ourselves*|_|)
(|_|*to a slow, steady build toward real change*|_|)
(|_|*to small victories along the way & stepping stones made of every discovery*|_|)
(|_|*to having one of those ‘lives’*|_|)
(|_|*to uncovering new possibilities, recovering old truths & discovering ourselves*|_|)
(|_|*to setting our struggles aside & making our distractions worthwhile*|_|)
(|_|*to being in the trenches together*|_|)

Mwuah! LOVE you!

-Charee

3

Lorna 29.06.08 at 4:58 pm

In spite of the fact that you are so feminine, this post was written like a soldier.

4

Scott 08.07.08 at 8:18 am

Keep on trucking Dorian! Turn your setbacks on their head. We can’t let them destroy us, but instead need to let them remake us.

5

Omyword! Did I Say That? 08.07.08 at 12:37 pm

I’ve been struggling lately too, with illness and relationship problems…so this post was very meaningful to me. Thank you. And…you don’t have to reply. :-)

6

RhodesTer 12.07.08 at 4:35 am

Wow, what cool friends we’ve encountered on the interwebz, eh? I like Charee’s “Rhodeshow”.. definetely going to use that, haha!

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